Image by Mity on Flickr
In my latest series, I've explained how we often take ourselves way too seriously, which stems from our need for validation and approval. The antidote is to give ourselves that validation we are craving. Then we don't need it from anyone else.
As promised, here's another antidote to self-seriousness.
Laugh at yourself.
It sounds kind of contradictory to my last tip, but it makes sense when you think about it.
And the great thing is, if you've already started to engage in the behaviors that stem from self-seriousness such as getting triggered, defensiveness, and self-righteousness (I'll show them), laughing at yourself is one way you can immediately course correct.
I'll give you an example. One time I got into an argument with my then-partner and started displaying all three of the behaviors described above. Then, because I really want to show him how I felt, I stormed out of my apartment building.
In my heightened emotional state, I'd neglected to bring my keys, which meant I was locked out of the building. I rang the bell outside the gate—normally reserved for deliveries—for several minutes until a neighbor let me in.
Of course, this deflated the gravity of the "super serious" point I was attempting to make.
At that point, I had to laugh at the absurdity of the whole situation. Not just the argument itself, but what was I actually hoping to accomplish by dramatically storming out of the building?
And that's what these moments of laughter do. They allow us to zoom out and see just how silly we can be sometimes, with all our airs and pretenses and how we can get worked up over the stupidest things and how we can be so determined to prove ourselves.
On that note, here's a scene from Punch Drunk Love that illustrates this concept perfectly. While the scene that unfolds is definitely not funny for Barry (Adam Sandler), it's funny to us as viewers because we are watching from that "zoomed out" perspective.
Another great learning moment comes from Planes, Trains & Automobiles. I share my thoughts here.
I couldn't find a clip from the scene I mentioned, but here is one of the most famous (and funniest) scenes in the movie.
How are you integrating more laughter into your life?
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