She is so forgetful now every time I call she thinks I am there and asked me to rub her shoulders or get her some water. I burst out in tears every time, it's so got damn hard to not be there for her to help ease her anxiety. It's hell.

It really sad to hear this words from you. Mother is the best thing in the world that loved us without any reservation. They loved us even when we make biggest failure in life.

I have a good verse to share to you for this difficult time, its Philippinas 4:6-7;

Philippians 4
King James Version with Strongs Dictionary (KJVStr)

6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

I am praying for her health since you told me about this on #Twitter. Don't be trouble, Let us Pray.