There was a lot of time where I felt that I didn't understand people, feelings or what was happening to me but music helped me a lot, introspective rap that helped me to know and understand how I felt or how others may feel, it took me a long time plus one never ends to know oneself but I have improved a lot. It is very important to invest in oneself, both physically and mentally to be able to be better, to provide comfort for us and for our future family and loved ones.
It all takes a process. Listening to music, reading books, walking in nature with grounding techniques, helps us feel better.
I'm glad to hear you're improvising so well.