Disjunctions/Poem

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I have asked my conscience many things about you.
Then, she enters into a dilemma, she doesn't know what to answer.
She tells me; what if I want the bad things, which she has stored in a corner of her room?
Or; what if I want the good, which is also stored in a boot called "memories"?
I didn't know what to say, because I wanted it all.
I wanted those moments where I felt uncomfortable
Where the full suffocation of unfinished talks were merely excuses to improve the performance
I wanted the full rage of rejections and disdain
The unsettled scorns of time to share
But, I also wanted the perfect, those dreamy events where it was just the two of us
Those days of conversations, the secrets that made us closer for sure
The nakedness of the soul that was unrivalled
And those encounters where sincere affection was the only thing that mattered.
Then my conscience looked at me in confusion
Everything indicated that I didn't understand myself very well
So I wanted the good and the bad too?
I didn't understand myself either, it was difficult to understand.
But in retrospect and analysing all the whys and wherefores
I knew that I loved everything that emanated from his being
I loved all his hate and all his love too
I loved her deep disdain and her time-sharing too
I wanted her scolding and her advice too
And I wanted her to be, not only in my conscience, but in body and soul just like in yesterday...