When I was a young girl, I was always with my mom’s phone to play games, and that was all. I never understood whether it was wrong or right to check her phone. Even then, my dad’s phone was always out of reach. He made it clear that no one should touch his phone, not because he was hiding anything, but because he saw it as a form of respect not to take an elder’s phone.
Honestly, I never saw my mom checking his phone, even when it was placed anywhere in the house. Everyone respected their boundaries and principles, and that atmosphere shaped my understanding of privacy from an early age.
I grew up understanding this principle. Believe me, I don’t like people checking my phone unless I give them permission. I am also transparent with it. Knowing I have nothing to hide could easily make me hand over my phone at the moment it’s asked for.
One thing I ensure, however, is that no one tampers with certain things on my phone, especially when they start going deeper and turning my phone settings upside down. I have experienced this before, and it wasn’t a good one. It taught me that access without boundaries can quickly become uncomfortable.
If my siblings ask for my phone, I release it when necessary, especially when I am not using it. But these days, scrolling through your partner’s phone can easily lead to misunderstandings, stemming from everything from misinterpretations to emotional triggers.
Honestly, I don’t see anything wrong with checking your partner’s phone, especially when you have become one, except that you're hiding a skeleton, which, in most cases, seems to be the issue.
Infidelity has been a significant reason some partners restrict the other from checking their phones. No transparency, just mistrust.
A woman who constantly checks her partner’s phone might be doing so for two reasons: one, nothing is hidden, and it’s just a form of entertainment; the other, insecurity or a lack of trust. The motive behind the action matters more than the action itself.
When a partner goes through his or her partner’s phone for the wrong reason, it’s often because they aren’t trusting themselves and need reassurance. I believe you don’t have to feel scared or guilty when someone accesses your phone, unless you are hiding a secret.
When your hands are pure, I bet you can even leave your phone somewhere without feeling ashamed or afraid. Peace of mind often reveals the state of the heart.
For me, I wouldn’t mind if my partner goes through my phone because I know I won’t be hiding anything from him. I love being transparent with everything. I would want him to do so, too. But if his principle is not to open his phone, as with my dad’s, then I feel it should be respected, and boundaries should be set.
It wouldn’t be because something is hidden secretly from me. When we are married, we are one, and we should be free to check each other’s phones without going overboard, because in everything, there should be a limit. Freedom without restraint can also become unhealthy.
In fact, I don't go through anyone's phone as I used to before. I feel it's a private thing, and when I need to, I ask for permission and only limit myself to what I need to do with it. I love privacy and respect it a lot.
When partners do not trust each other, even something as little as accessing a phone can become a big issue that could lead to separation, and that’s not a good one.
If you aren’t hiding anything, why flare up when your partner checks your phone? It’s called trust, transparency, and alignment, without any skeletons in the cupboard or wardrobe. At the end of the day, trust, respect, and clear boundaries must walk hand in hand.
The images are mine
The line I was looking for.
Forget it, who reset people's phone settings these days? If someone is not willing to let others use their phones, it's obvious there's something that doesn't want to be seen.
Exactly. 👍
If someone will check my phone without my permission, i will get really really mad, even if a friend or a family. Like why they have to take and check it? Something like that. I hate it. Its a good thing no one do that to me. Haha. As for a partner, I think so too that it is okay. But still with permission of course. But yk, even if a partner check a their partner's phone, there's still no guarantee that they will never cheat. I think I saw lots of case like that on socmed. They will erase how they cheat or they have different phone for their cheating. Its amazing how can a person do that. Like, the nerve! Lol
Yes, on a norms, you don't take someone's phone without their permission. And there's nothing wrong when you need to check their phones for something to entertain with but it becomes a problem when you become aggressive because someone checked your phone. Lol
Right. I think it's quite simple that when one has nothing to hide then there's no point in being hesitant for other people like loved ones check their phone. For me, it's not that of a big deal and I understand when people play the card that it's a very private thing that they don't want others to access their phone. After all, our phones can be an extension of us, imagine checking a loved ones YouTube feed and seeing all random stuffs that you had no idea they're interested in :)
It's not a big deal at all but most people now see it as that because of whatever they may be hiding in their phones and do not want others to go through it.
Yes, I agree that our phones can be an extension of us. Thank you.
Exactly, I see nothing wrong in checking your partner phone except he/she is hiding something. A marriage build on trust and honesty should not have anything to hide from each other
Absolutely 👍
In a relationship, trust is the utmost important factor. Anything else without trust crumbles.
Insecure people are very difficult to deal with and they are also frustrating as they project their fears unto their partners for no reason.
I agree with you, if your conscience is clear, then there's nothing to hide.
I don't allow people touch my phone except I expressly allow it and this is because I have suffered a lot of setbacks from allowing people have free access to my phone. One of them deleted an important file on my phone. I could not recover that fake again.
Yes, that's the reason I don't like releasing my phone, especially to someone who can't handle it. Imagine giving your phone to someone and then accidentally deletes an important file? That will be bad.
Yes it really was a bad experience for me then.
I disagree with the thought. My partner can use my phone but I don't think she is allowed to know about everything. I can give her access when she will need it but unless doubt, she should not touch my mobile. Do you know why? It's because I don't trust anyone blindly and trust is a calculative matter for me.
Like you said, when there is no skeleton in the cupboard there will be no issues in checking of phones even answering ones partners calls, but when there are some questionable things it becomes a problem.