Beyond the Rod

Spare the rod and spoil the child has been a word most of our African parents hold firmly when it comes to disciplining the children. It simply means that if you fail to punish your child when he or she derails , then that child wouldn't learn what is right or wrong. Discipline is a big part of parenting and very important but the question is, what's the best way to correct bad behavior in a child , is it corporal punishment or through word of the mouth? In this post, I will share how I discipline my own children and what works best for me.

When we talk about corporal punishment, it involves flogging a child, spanking, slapping, etc. it's a kind of discipline that inflict pain on a child which most people believes that it quickly corrects a a bad behavior in children. Many homes including schools uses this method. I don't think there's an African child who didn't experience flogging at different levels. When I was in secondary school , I suffered pain so much from series of flogging due to late coming, sometimes I was made to cut grass in the school environment as part of my punishment as well. All these measures did made me to seat up from my late coming anyway but caused me a lot of fear once I am the school environment. It wasn't a mild kind of flogging each time I experienced it, it's always severe as if students are one set of criminals. Till date, if my twin brother pull off his shirt, you will see deep scars on his back which he sustain because of the heavy flogging he encountered in secondary school those days in the name of punishment.

Sadly, a lot of parents still exercise terrible kind of corporal punishment while punishing their own child. The last one I witnessed from a parent, I later asked the mother politely if truly the child is her biological child or was she adopted? That's to tell you how severe the flogging was. You could literally see blood stains all over the child's dress and I kept wondering how some parents carry out this thing called discipline

I will be telling lies if I say that I don't flog my children due to their bad behavior but it's rare. Not every bad behavior deserves corporal punishment and also, it shouldn't be too severe kind of inflicting pain on the child like criminals in the prison. What I do is more of communication with my kids. Firstly,I get my child to know his wrong deeds and thoroughly communicate with him on why he shouldn't repeat such behavior. I get him to know the implications of his bad behavior and how it could even affect him out there when he behave same way with other people. I have come to see the impact of words on my children and how it serve as motivation for them to cultivate self discipline and of course it will help them even in the future as they continue to grow.

Depending on the severity of the bad attitude displayed by child, I profer discipline accordingly. Sometimes, I use deprivation method and it does work wonders for me. Children have that one thing they love doing. I could just deprive my child of such pleasure for a period of time and deep within him, he knows that this is why mummy is depriving him of the pleasure. It's a discipline and it works. Sometimes, I get my child locked up in a room for some time like a mini prison, hahaha also depending on what he did, it works effectively for me. And yes, sometimes I use the rod of correction.

Overall, I look out for discipline that would bring out change in character of my child and not just losing my temper and disciplining because I should do so. One thing I have come to notice about constant hitting of a child is that, it could make the child aggressive, afraid and even cause him to lose his self esteem. I think everything should just have limit inorder to achieve good result.

Wrapping up, I wouldn't say that words of the mouth or corporal punishment is more effective but the above disciplinary measures are what I have been applying with my kids and they seem effective. Just know your child, and stick with what works best for you!

This is my entry to hive Ghana weekly prompt. Kindly check it out here.

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