A second Chance to Tell My Grandmother Goodbye

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Sometimes life gives us one moment to do the right thing. And whenever we miss this moment, we wish for a second chance for the rest of our lives.
Some years back my grandmother suffered stroke and couldn't walk anymore. We tried everything we could do to make her well again but it was abortive. We moved from hospitals to hospitals, and it got worse by the day. A woman who was Hale and hearty couldn't move her legs any longer. She was down mentally, I could see the fears in her eyes, I could feel her spirit go down day by day. We did our best not just to try offer her medical assistance but also emotional assistance. Because we knew not being around her in that moment will kill her mentally. She was happy that we were around her.

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Since she couldn't walk but could use her hands, she tried getting busy with chores which she could do by sitting down. She helped in a lot of things and it kept her busy everytime. She had stroke in 2011 and as every year passed, there was no change, it didn't get worse either and she wasn't sick in those years except that she couldn't walk.

At some point, we gave up of her walking ever again and we just made sure life was better for her. She was a loving grandmother and we couldn't let her go through this phase of life alone. Second year passed and she was still stuck...after spending a fortune on hospital bills, we brought her back home to stay with us at home. We took good care of her throughout this period. The fourth year passed and we were still with her. At some point she started getting frustrated and felt bad that she was suffering us. Because we had to lift her to bath, clean up and this was a big burden for us. But we still had to do it.

My once loving grandmother was so frustrated and let it out on us sometimes. It made us angry sometimes and we would usually argue and then still do the job the next morning. We had great moments and also some arguments anytime she felt frustrated of not being able to walk. Most times she wanted to die, she felt useless but we will rebuke her most times.

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2016, on a faithful day....a Saturday to be precised, grandmother was angry with everyone, so she started saying things that made us so angry. We argued with her throughout that night. And she got more angry, said things she wasn't supposed to say and that made us more annoyed. We all prepared her to sleep that night, even in the heat of the argument.
Here is where the regret happened;
We all woke up early in the morning and went to do our chores without even checking up on her. Not too long, my mom came out to tell me to come follow her. I followed my mom and she was walking back into grandma's room. I was confused on why she would not just say what she wants me to do but just ask her to follow her. When we got inside, mom said grandma is dead. The shock on my face when I saw her lifeless body with her face turned away to the wall. I walked close to her and felt her body; so cold it was. A tear dropped and I asked myself what is life?

I regret the way I said goodbye to her, I regret that it was an argument. I regret that our last words were that of anger and not of happiness and love. I questioned why she decided to go on a day we had a quarrel.

I wish there could be a second chance to have some last words with her. I wish I stayed close to her that night, making jokes like I always did.
I so much want to see her and tell her I was only angry and never meant the words I said. That I love her so much and was happy being by her side everyday even in her challenges.
I wish for a second chance, I replayed this night in my mind over and over again but there is nothing I could do.
I learnt to just make life better for everyone while they are still alive.
That regret still hurts me but it teaches me to love the people who are still here. And I am not wasting this second chance.

I hope you enjoyed reading my story on a Second chance?
More of such stories are on my blog.