Marrying Someone with Children: Is it the Right Thing to do?

in HiveGhanalast month

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I was so interested in this week’s prompt so I will be sharing my take on one of the topics for this week

Would you consider marrying someone with children? Can you be a stepmother or father? And do you think it’s a right thing to do?

While going through this particular topic I found the question so difficult to answer that I kept pondering about it. A lot of people have had complicated issue in marriage especially when one party has a kid before marriage. I am still of the opinion that it is not bad to marry someone with children my issue is marrying someone with children and end up having issues with the children and treating the children bad because you see them as a competition in that marriage.

Single parents also deserve love and most of them have never been married before probably they had their child through an unfortunate occurrence so they too also deserve love. My take now will be centered that being a step mother or father is not a bad thing. The issue that brings about problem in marriage is when partners realizes after marriage that one of them has a child that’s when the issue arises in marriage. I believe that transparency should set in when you know you have a child already should be the first thing you tell your partner during the talking stage. Let the person decide from that time if he or she will still marry you or not rather than hiding and getting to know about that later.

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I am also of the opinion that if you know you don’t want to be a step mother or step father then there is no point of wasting your time accepting to marry a man or woman that has a child already and go about being wicked to the children if you love a man then you will have to love his children or his child and as a man if you love a woman with a child or children you should be able to love her and her child too. Not just loving your partners and neglecting their children.

This particular act makes people to see being a step mother or father to be a bad thing but in real essence it is not a bad thing to be a step mother or father. Personally, I cannot marry a man that has a child already because I am of great concern that the mother of the child will still be in his life one way or the other and I personally will not be comfortable with it. So that’s my major reason for not wanting to be a stepmum. And another reason is being a step mother to a grown-up child can be so stressful because you will want to do everything humanly possible to make, he or she sees you as their mother which can be so draining especially to those ones that sees your marriage to his or her father as a threat. So, these are my reasons for not wanting to be a step mother. But saying it is a wrong thing to be a step mother or father is basically not true.

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I am aniakpan.

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I agree! If you don’t want to be a step parent, then why agree to marry a baby mama or daddy and then maltreat the child. Sometimes it’s very frustrating seeing what kids go through from their step parents.

I totally agree with you that if you don't want to be a step mom or dad, why bother dating someone with kids? They say there are plenty of fish in the sea, why not look for someone free of obligations. But then, in the end, it's really just a personal preference thing.