I was having one of my many conversations with myself the other day, figuring out how often I'll be sending out these notes. It didn't take me too long to conclude that I didn't know.
But why wouldn't I know? After all, I'm in charge and only one decision away from making it happen.
I tried to pause and zoom out for a bit to understand why I quickly came to that conclusion when the decision was mine to make.
It turns out that I either wasn't ready to figure out a schedule that works for me, or I couldn't care to commit.
While this may sound like a terrible thing, we sometimes grow to become scared of commitments. This has nothing to do with being lazy.
Sometimes, we focus so much on the possibility of not keeping up with our commitments because we get too scared of disappointing ourselves or other people.
We exhaust a lot of our mental energy on that tiny possibility; that day when we're unable to honor the schedule. This unhealthy focus cripples the entire being, and it's sometimes all in our heads. To get rid of it, we need to focus on something different.
Some other times, it's not just all in your head. You may have tried to stay committed in the past and gotten burned. You may have actual stories and events you can reference, not just fantasies. When this happens, it isn't as easy to get yourself out.
I wish I could give you some magic words to make you return to making commitments, but sometimes, you have to let things flow.
A major secret to a good life might be in learning to let things flow. When you're obsessed with being in control, you're very likely to crash.
Sometimes, you need to trust the process.
Focus more on just getting stuff done rather than the intricacies of how stuff should get done.
When you focus on what matters, what's next will fall into place.
As much as you want to make commitments in the face of fear, it takes some amount of confidence to commit.
You build confidence by doing. Focus on what's necessary; getting things done.
When you do it enough times, you'll know.
Don't be afraid to say, "I don't know." It works, like magic!