It's good of you to tell your story. So many of us soldier on bravely until we collapse, and I know from experience what burn out and trying to live up to some standard you feel is important feels like. It's a long road to recovery and you won't ever be the same, but that's a good thing.
Might be off topic but just watched How to Change Your Mind on Netflix, particular the second one on psilocin. Very interesting in terms of how mushrooms can restructure or dissolve our version of our self - for you, the idea of perfection. You might be interested anyway.
Extending warmth to you - I empathise with your journey.
Doing what you think is expected of you is exhausting (which got pretty clear), but fighting your own thoughts and believes even more, even though you know it's for the better.
Funny that you bring up psilocin. I haven't seen the documentary, but my GP told me about studies around it and that the results are pretty promising. Not sure if I'm brave enough to use it, but I believe they can play a important part in neural rewiring.
Thank you for your support, I really appreciate it:)