Depression!

in OCD3 years ago

Depression! The word itself sounds scary and also the feeling of passing through its effects.

And the worst case scenario is that you will never know if you are actually going through depression or not. Because it doesn't seem like anything. It makes you feel unloved.

Every morning you wake up without realizing that the sun has risen.

You'll be brushing your teeth without getting the taste of your toothpaste.

You will shower with cold water without realizing that it is cold outside. You'll be using your soap without smelling it.

You will repeat wearing some clothes without realizing that you have put on many others fresh.

You will look in the mirror not to see yourself but just to see your hair.

You'll have breakfast without knowing what you ate.

Your body will continue to function but your soul will remain paralyzed.

You will stop noticing the people around you. They will feel like other moving objects. You will ignore them.

You will be questioned by many "Hey! What is happening? Why do you look so low and dreary?" And then your brain takes control and chooses the flight mode to answer "all right."

Sometimes you will try to share it with your friends but their careless reaction leaves you with a feeling of betrayal and loneliness.

There will be people around you who will disguise themselves as your well wishers and friends but none of them will understand.

Then this position becomes longer then you will start pretending. Pretending to be all right and totally fine. But slowly it is rotting inside.

Some nights, you'll lie in your bed like a living, breathing corpse.

And some more nights you will feel like crying. And you will cry badly for no reason. Because with each passing day your soul is being taken out of your body.

Sometimes you will feel like pulling your soul on yourself and putting an end to this misery.

But you will be afraid you will be scared You will be haunted by bad memories and your dreadful daydreams.

But deep down there is a tiny thing that is clinging to that soul to your body—the hope that lets you go through this phase of your life.

You will know that you have remained strong by now and that you will continue to be strong. You will overcome this feeling on your own. just stay strong.

You will start reading and writing. You will talk to yourself. You will start meditating and then you will realize that this depression has helped you to meet the real you.

You will fight every single day until...

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That toothpaste has a taste, that soap smells good, those fresh clothes catch your eyes and breakfast tastes delicious.