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RE: Pretty Orchid, Be A Weed

in OCD3 years ago

I really liked the focus of your publication. The fact of comparing what we want to maintain and does not survive and what must defend itself and fight against adversities, transferring it to common life.

Today's times are difficult in many aspects and one of them is precisely that which you so wisely focus on and that is the fact that some people (not to generalize, but there are many) ask for independence and always want someone else to solve their problems.

I think we should focus on being in balance with life, that is to say, neither so bald nor with two wigs. We must learn to want to solve our problems, of course, without believing we are self-sufficient or being freshers who leave the task to others.

As for children, it is a difficult task and even more so if they are unique. I am the mother of an only child and he is almost 21. Even though at times I tried to overprotect him, I am surprised by his capacity and maturity to face life. He already has a future planned and is working for it (even finishing his college career) and he is not dependent on me at all, but only in the affection part. It is very difficult to raise children in these times, and I agree with you in that we must give them space to learn to defend themselves and decide what to do in difficult moments, that is to say, let them live and learn. We parents should only be attentive if they need advice to evolve and overcome the situation.

Thank you for this nice read, I really enjoyed it. I will keep visiting your interesting blog. A hug and happy weekend! 🤗🌹

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You wrote something about parents taking away the opportunity from their children to learn things about the "real" world and how to handle real life issues, by "babying" and shielding them, I wouldn't exactly say it's a bad thing because who'd blame them for wanting the supposed best for their kids, but I also think that the children enjoy the security of it all, because at some point when you leave the comfort of your home and you encounter real life issues instead of facing them head on and thinking and acting for yourself you'd want to run back to the security you've always known instead of facing issues head on - yes your parents shielded you, but your facing the real life now, why don't you face it literally.
I for one was really doted on, infact when I was to leave home to another city for my degree program, my cousins and aunts were saying I wouldn't be able to survive alone without my parents, but right now I'm the most independent person I know, who despite being shielded was still able to face (and is still facing) real life issues, with little or no support. It all boils down to how determined you are in wanting to face your issues by yourself when you can.

Exactly, and that is what I am referring to. We parents tend to overprotect our children because of the very dangers of life and I am not criticizing the behavior in a harsh way at all, because I did it myself with my son. However, we must be careful and not exaggerate this behavior because, at some point, it bothers children and they will show it to you (my son did). I have taken great care of my son and I still do at the age of 21, but I have learned to limit and not exaggerate this behavior for his well being. Of course, when he needs me, I am always there and in fact, I am always attentive, even if he is an adult. What I do do is moderate my behavior so that it is not exaggerated and seen as overprotective.

My son is also very independent and thank God he is well formed and determined, that reassures me. I was very protected by my parents and I also knew how to manage when I went to study in another city, it is a matter of not exaggerating our overprotection as parents.

Thank you very much for your very complete and well-supported commentary, it enriches mine.

No problem😌

neither so bald nor with two wigs.

I have never heard this before - I like it!

Parenting is hard in many ways - the ingrained genetics is there to protect our children, but we also have to learn to let them get hurt. I know parents who put helmets on their children when they are learning to walk, so they don't hit their heads. That is for the benefit of the parent, not the child. Pain is a great teacher.

hahahaha is a colloquial saying from my country. Something like that we should not exaggerate or take things away, everything in its right measure. The most important word for me in life is always Balance. We must practice it in all our behaviors in daily life.

Sometimes it is difficult not to fall into overprotection, especially if we have only one child. The current dangers make one as a parent have fears that they will be harmed and often tends to fall into this behavior.

However, the important thing is to reflect and give them the opportunity to evolve, even if we watch them from afar. Thank you very much for your comment. It is a pleasure to read you.