On Sunday, I encountered a situation that made me aware of some other stances on donation,charity,and giving money. I will also give brief scene of what happened and I will let you be the judge.
The three of us sat a cafe. We picked the table located indoor at the corner of that hangout place. We were talking about plans, the future of their company, the future of me; a bum, and some other stuff. Then, a woman in her late 20's and a child aged 7 approached some people who was seating indoor. The woman left a note and started distributing around even to our table. The child started going around the table while bringing a basket of snacks.
" Could you buy this please?" said the little girl to the a couple who sat at the next table.
" No" they rejected and the girl left with slight sadness. She walked around to couple tables and go the same reaction. Then, she walked around to us.
" Could you buy this please? please please?"
My woman who sat in front of me said, " sorry, no"
" please please please please" the little girl pleaded.
" Next time okay" Said the woman again.
" please please, I won't be here next time" said the little girl.
" please, please"
" Alright, let's leave" instructed the woman to me and to my brother.
I stayed behind and slipped a note to the girl.
" Keep it" I said.
The little girl glanced at me and smiled.
Inside the car, I was lectured. " did you give her money? don't be such enabler". I stayed quiet and just listened what they had to say on giving money to a little girl who tried to sell me stuff.
I have my own reasoning for doing what I did but I can't help to think, is giving someone x amount of money considered as being an enabler? therefore it is wrong to give them help. I want to know what you think.
IDK if you're an enabler. Sounds like you're just a kind person. These are hard times, nothing wrong with throwing someone a couple bucks if they're in need, especially a child.
To me, giving is a voluntary action. There were times when I didn't want to give because it was forced on me.
well, modern society killed god. And with it, charity.
Fair enough though I don't subscribe to that. One can do charity even without any religious affiliations or motives.
you're right. But at a society level, i think the 'killing' of god and religious values played a role. But people are 'more free' than ever
It’s complicated! I don’t think there is a simple answer for this. It depends on the situation, both yours and theirs and the whole feeling of the interaction.
A lot of people get into a desperate mindset and start doing things that don’t help them long term, like seeing that kind of behavior as a sustainable way to survive. I would never mind helping someone in a pinch or giving something away to someone if the benefit to them is exponentially bigger than the benefit to me. But I always look for ways to empower people instead.
I’d rather talk and share ideas with a homeless person and maybe even help them find a free or cheap way to live more comfortably than to just give them money out of my pocket. I’d rather eat dinner with them then throw money. If they don’t want that kind of help then it probably wasn’t meant to be, find someone richer and with more pity. We used to give the homeless people seeds and teach them how to grow vegetables in hidden areas of the city like highway forrest areas. We also would go dumpster diving together and make fun parties and help them redecorate their living spaces to be more bright and comfortable.
It depends on the place too. Some cities it’s really easy to find free food. But I think lifting their spirits is waaaayyy more valuable than money because it will help them find better methods of survival. You do have to make boundaries and be safe though, otherwise you might end up in uncomfortable situations.
Ya it's complicated. They are not begging. Begging is not allowed where I live and even the giver would get punished, as I remember. So that's why, they always have a product to offer or something to perform in exchange of money.
Lol begging with a product is still begging
I think we should all have a powerful sense of safety from the close society that would take out the begging problem without resorting on charity. It's hard to say you have done a wrong thing in such a vertical society!
It's a complex problem indeed. One can argue that I am an enabler, another can argue I am not. But my stance on donation, giving, and charity has always been voluntary. So, it's okay if you don't want to give and it's also okay if you don't want to give.
You wanted to help and you did, that's all that matters. For me, it depends, if I see they genuinely are helpless I'd help, other times I don't. There are particular set of beggars that just dedicate their lives to begging in my country. They usually have no intention of working and are not helpless. Those type of people, I don't help because I think I'm just an enabler.
This. They are even richer than us and some wagie(someone who works). So yeah, not helping these beggar career with nothing to offer.