-Since I started this journey it has been a complete adventure, I have been willing to learn everything that has to do with motherhood, even under my ignorance about the issues of motherhood and pregnancy I have googled questions like "if I am pregnant I can to drink lemon juice? "," What should I wear in a diaper bag and the day of delivery? "," Can I bathe at night if I am pregnant? ". All these doubts and many more, some have arisen from things that people have told me. I don't know why but everyone thinks I need to know their opinion on the subject. Since developing I have been with large breasts, flat abdomen and thick legs. But since I was little I have heard things like "when you stop where your boobs will go", "breasts do not produce any milk", "they will fill you with stretch marks if you breastfeed". Enough is enough to see that my nipples have doubled, and that they have a darker tone.
-2 months or so ago my breasts started to leak, how crazy isn't it? Perhaps the breasts do not generate milk. Even one day I wet the sheet, the pillow, and the robe I was wearing. I have always tried to support myself since most of my family are fat and have suffered from overweight. My mom has always told me: "I was a Barbie until I gave birth". That has undoubtedly marked me, right now as much more than I used to eat before but thank God I have not increased so much, since the pregnancy began 7 months ago I have increased 8 kilos. From my eyes I really notice that difference, I have a double chin, the buttocks got fat and not to mention the cheeks. My clothes do not fit me, I have about 3 sets that are the ones that I use the few times that I go out (for example, by consultation, I do not go anywhere else because of the quarantine). And everyday clothes are the same for me, my grandmother looked for clothes that she thought could be used to be at home, nice gesture but I was more depressed, that is, how did I get to the point where I have to put my clothes on from my grandmother because mine does not fit me? Could it be that my partner will no longer like it like that? I know that my belly is not fat, it is because I carry a baby there but that instead of encouraging me sinks me more now that come to my thoughts how "will I be a good mom?", "will she love me?", "yes, what is being a good mom?". My 11-year-old cousin since my pregnancy began was very excited, but her way of being is so shocking that sometimes the things she does or says is impressive since she is very young. From the beginning he has told me things like: "So young and carrying a boy", "You loved sleeping and heading now, hold on", "again with that white shorts? Let him rest", "these goooordisima we are going to see how you are doing to have a belly after the baby is born "," as it is possible that you have eaten 3 mangoes that is too much "," that is to say that you can really sleep you have to use so many pillows "," poor baby that is going to starve because the mom is going to be sleeping. " He comments things like that, things that my mother doesn't even say annoys me, sometimes without bad intention, in front of someone who says the same thing and repeats it until someone takes the comment into account. Most of the time everyone ignores her except me. I know it's a girl but it's really not what I need to hear.
-I have always liked sleeping, but being pregnant I have slept three times, lately I suffer from insomnia and I sleep during the day, everyone assumes that I sleep day and night. That white short is the most comfortable I have, since if it is not that it is my grandmother's robes that I have to wear, I prefer my short. To fall asleep I slept on my stomach, I can no longer do it logically so I use 4 pillows, one for the head, one for the back, one between the legs and one to hug when my partner is not there. It is the only way to feel comfortable, to feel rested, she does not understand. I eat more than I ate before because when I get hungry it is another level, for me before hunger as it did not exist, now I get hungry every 3 hours or so. And if not like the baby moves too much. I do not care to stop going out or stop sleeping while my baby is fine, it will cost me to get up early but I am willing to give everything for that baby that I still have inside and if I do it it is not so that they do not criticize me because it cannot be maintained happy everyone. Many people said that my belly is small and they had me on the verge of madness, in my last consultation I told the doctor and he told me that my body was fine, even the baby weighed 900 gr, a perfect weight for the week I had . It is difficult to deal with the comments, "if you are going to breastfeed you cannot speak while you do it", "Male labor pains are more horrible than female ones", "do not buy anything until you are 7 or 8 months old because it is bad "," when he cries let him cry, don't even think about carrying him because you're going to get him used to arms "," don't give him a gringo name because he is going to be black "," patir is better than a cesarean "," you're not going to endure the pains of childbirth. " Sometimes it's not so much because of what they tell you but because you really don't want to hear anyone's opinion. And I just think: Thanks for your advice but if I have a question I will ask, do not tell me about the rest.
Fotografia de mi propiedad.