Today was one of those rare days when I had to front up to my office rather than work from home. Trust me, I wasn't too keen about it as I had to throw on my office-work-attire, a suit, rather than wear my home-office-work-attire which is pretty much whatever happens to get thrown on in the morning. Sometimes just boxer shorts; I'm happy to admit it. There is a certain amount of enjoyment that comes from chatting on the phone with clients in one's boxer shorts. 😁
After doing the rounds, saying hello to people I hadn't seen for a few weeks I settled down in my personal office and did some work. I had a pile of scanning and printing to do which is why I went to the office in the first place and I made some calls too. I worked long and hard for one hour...That's right, a whole hour, then decided it was time for a coffee.
I headed to 33 Chapel, my working-week go-to café and grabbed some lunch, a pretty tasty risotto ai funghi e spinaci (Spinach and mushroom risotto), and settled in to do a few comments on hive. I added in a friand and coffee after lunch too because, why not right?
I'll be honest with you, the last few weeks have pretty bad for me from a personal standpoint. We have had a lot going on lately and Faith and I have been through the emotional wringer. It's not letting up as Faith is now undergoing testing for cancer which is still rolling out. It's been a relentless year and looks like it's not improving just yet.
At times I feel like I'm going under, certainly that it would be easier to pack it all in...But that's not how life is for me; It's not in my nature and so I work on finding the good things and jumping from one to the other, like rocks in the creek, trying to deal with the consequences of missing one along the way. What other choice is there?
Faith and I are a tight unit; We are not the give up types and have faced all sorts of adversity together over the thirty three years we have been together. I would say that our ability to deal with adversity and come out the other end strong and together is one of our strong points...But we feel a little battered and bruised sometimes and now is one of those times.
We each have our own way of dealing with things personally at times like this and for me one of those ways is to detach from society when possible...That's why I come here to the café where I can simply zone-out, write a little bit, or read. I also go shooting to do zone-out and I used to ride my motorbike for the same reason also...All good ways to detach.
Battlefield commanders are trained to detach when decision-making is required in combat situations; They often do that by simply turning their back to the action, firefight or battle. It provides a brief respite allowing them to make much better decisions...You'll find many in the military will do the same...A JTAC for instance. Calling in close fire support from the air requires precision and clarity of thought; A mistake often results in friendly-fire casualties, so they are trained to detach from the battle and find clarity of thought, even when they are right there in it!
I think we can learn a lot from that example and in my life I work hard to detach from the situation and society so I can see it more clearly; It is this aspect of my personality that has allowed for better clarity of thought, better decision-making and a more stable emotional state of being.
So, here I am, detaching with my friand and coffee. I've come to no solutions as yet, just the understanding that I need to ensure that the people around me know how I feel about them, Faith and my other family; It's them that are the most important aspects of my life and it's incredibly important not to get so enmeshed in life's adversity that one forgets to say and do the right things for them. After all, it is those people that make my life complete.
I hope you're having a great day, and that you might find the time to tell someone you love or appreciate them; Trust me, you'll feel better, and so will they.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised.
Be well
Discord: galenkp#9209
Ohh it saddens ones heart to see the one we love going through such. So sorry and i pray to God to heal her because he has the power to do so. Take care, God is with the family
She's pretty tough so will fight anything that comes along and if course I'm around to help her as needed. We are hoping there is nothing sinister in it but will have to see what the results show. Thanks for your nice message.
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ENGAGEtokens.Thank you
Hi, I was looking at the posts on Hive and I came across yours. Your words reached me ... because for me cancer is something you can't fight sometimes ... my aunt and my grandfather died of cancer 😣 ... I think what you do is great ... the support that it is provided to loved ones in those moments it is essential💗 ... I will continue reading you ... thanks for sharing this experience with us...
Big hugs ☺️
Hi @mirzantorres, thanks and welcome to my blog. I'm pleased you ran into my post and took the time to have a read.
Yes, cancer is a terrible thing. I lost my mum to it, she was 59. My wife lost her dad to it also, he was 33. Her mum just finished chemotherapy and is on the mend slowly...So we've had our share of it I guess. We are hoping my wife's issue isn't the same as her dad...Non-hodgkin lymphoma (blood cancer). We'll just have to see how the tests come out and hope for the best.
Anyway, thanks for stopping by. You'll note, if you scroll back through my posts, that I write about many different things so not everything may interest you, but I hope you'll drop me a line from time to time.
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Of course I will keep reading you! I am currently in treatment ... I have two cysts, one in one ovary and one in the left breast ... I had to change my diet 😖... which was a considerable change because I love eating sweets😁 ... but I hope everything improves ... thanks for replying !!! you have a good day☺️🤭
I wish you all the best in your treatment and hope it goes smoothly and is effective. I understand the change, and difficulties, around sweet foods as I am diabetic...I like my sweets too...But have to limit them.
ENGAGEtokens.Thanks for such a powerful message sir
You are welcome. Thanks for dropping by.
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ENGAGEtokens.Hope all goes well with the tests mate. I made a post today about an old memory and then sent a link to the lady mentioned in the story( my best mates mum) telling her that i hoped the embarassing story made her laugh. She responded earlier by thanking me for my kind words and i said it was a valuable lesson i'd learned early abot a little compassion and understanding rather than the roasting I'd have got at home. You are so correct about tomorrow isn't promised. Even with things as they are you need to gather yourself and remember to live a little and enjoy the little stuff as well as the amazing moments
Life is relentless and unpredictable which makes the small things much more valuable in my mind. It's those things that we can control: How we treat people, showing gratitude and respect...Those things are within our power. Most things are not.
I haven't seen that post yet (pretending to work still lol). I'll have a look later though.
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hope it gives you a giggle, I am sure it will
ENGAGEtokens.Sorry to hear about Faith goinh through cancer testing. Hope for the best, well wishes and prayers. Stay strong.
It sucks, but early detection is important so she'll go through it. Hopefully it's nothing and we can move on.
Great advice and especially in these times we are going through.
Yep, it works.
Detach. Think and rationalise. Re-engage and act.
😉
No doubt it's been hard-going, and I wish you all the best. I hope Faith's tests will come out to bring good news all around! Sometimes, it's worthwhile to detach your mind from the real world, even just for a brief moment, to give pause. That little break is all it needs to give old G-Dog his fighting spirits back.
Plus, some of that lovely pastry there would certainly help. I nearly recoiled when I read "spinach and mushroom". I thought to myself, "what madman would put spinach in a tasty dessert like that?!". However, spinach and mushroom Risotto does sound mighty delectable, indeed.
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Lol...A person would be mad as a cut snake to put spinach and mushroom in a friand. No sir, the friand was blueberry. Delectable.
You know the old G-dog bro, tough as old boot leather...We'll bring it all together and fight whatever comes along and when it's all done and dusted Faithy and G-doggy will be sitting pretty.
Ah, all the best wishes to you, mate. And hold on just a moment, the name of this dessert is called a 'friand'? All this time, I thought it was a typo of 'friend', and I've just been cheekily waiting to see if you've noticed. Well damn, I need to get some friands of my own now, though honestly I could've confused them with cupcakes before. Preferably, not in spinach and mushroom flavour.
Haha, yeah I was waiting for someone to embarrass themself by correcting what they thought was a typo in my post. A friand is not a cupcake...It's made from almond flour and had a very unique taste. Very good with coffee.
Lol, thankfully I didn't end up being that guy, huh? It sounds very tasty, and its one that I have to try out. Never seen one before, though the closest one, in appearance at least, is Domino's Blueberry Cheesecake. Not sure if you Aussies have those in Domino's down under, but it's amazing!
I'm so sorry for Faith. But early detection saves lives. I hope she gets rid of this trouble as soon as possible.
Let's hope she's all clear and we can get on with life. I hope so as she deserves better.
You are so right! The feelings of putting on those working dress, especially suits kills me🤢. well,This is a great piece and I learnt from that theory of detaching yourself from a serious attacking situation at hand in other to get a clear thought to make a fitting decision. I'll be doing that often now. This is going to be the second time I have come across an advise pretty similar to this here on Hive.
As for Faith, she will be fine. It a nice thing all this is being handled right on time. And we all hope she becomes the Victor over it🥂
Gaining arms length from a situation can provide perspective and the ability for more rational thought which, in turn, allows one to make more logical and relevant decisions. Critical in a firefight, but certainly something we can all use in our lives each day. We can't always run off to a café to find detachment so it's important to find the ability to mentally detach to find a clear moment in which to think.
Mentally detachment, wow! That would be a quote I will never forget. Truth is what you have spoken here. Thanks for the enlightenment and advice.
Detachment have become a serious issue for us my friend. Due to the nature of our work, facing the dark side of life regularly, we have become detachment addictive.
That's why I flee into nature at every opportunity.
Over the last few years we have retracted even more as we are in a relentless fight with very little support and life can get at one.
Your visits to that shop is a good crutch to support the clarity of mind and it feels exactly the same as my escapes.
If it is of any use to you, Marian also went for breast cancer testing at a hospital, they found a small lump and suggested a biopsy.
So by now you know me and we went to go and see a doctor at a cancer center.
They did some tests and the result was negative, no cancer, but it was the wait for the results that was very testing.
So, we hope and pray that the result will be the same for Faith
I think it's the waiting, the not knowing, that makes it difficult. Also, for us, coming off the back of a few emotional beat-downs things seem worse than that may actually be. We'll be good though, and will face whatever comes up.
Finding a little detachment is critical for us and yes, we also find nature provides it. We're looking forward to a bit more us time to manage our moods and attitudes. It'll work out.
Oh yeah, you guys have certainly been through the wringer lately, but time will heal my friend.
You did an excellent job of it all and you were rewarded with some time with your family.
That little boy was a great tonic for you.
So now it is to face the new scare and you are right that you guys will be good in facing it.
You are a team and that's all that matters.
We hope indeed that it's only an empty scare.
Us time, is always a good idea!
Blessings to you and Faith!
Thank you mate, we hope it's nothing also but if it is something we'll face it and do what we can.
Praying for you guys!
What a bitch of a year. Surely it's almost over though, right?
This fucker has to end eventually right? You couldn't write this stuff dude. It's been hellish. Will be happy to say farewell to 2020.
It comes in waves, doesn't it. The good and the bad. Sometimes the waves are just near too damn much. That's where that toughness and balance come into play.
I sometimes ask myself "Is this the same decision I'd make if my life was in the toilet?" Or "..if I were right on top of the wheel?" It is important to maintain a balance, to detach.
I know that 2020 is going to go down as a horrible shitty year for most, I get it. I sometimes feel guilty for having such a damn good year. I've gained 8 siblings since the first of the year. A whole load of people to know and care about... It's pretty good detail.
I've made the same New Year's Resolution for the last 21 years in a row. When I find something that works I stick with it. "I resolve this year to not wear a necktie." I've been successful in my resolve 19 times.
Some have had a good year and one should never feel bad about that...Other's have had a bad one and just have to own it, deal with the shit and move on. It's where I am I guess. I never make apologies for when things are going well because they go well because I'm made it that way. Conversely, when things go bad I just own it, roll up the sleeves and get on with turning it around.
Yep. I said 'sometimes' and I always get over it right away :)
It sure doesn't sound as if you had an easy year, and I really hope for the best from the coming testresults. But life isn't always easy and we have to deal with it as it comes. Hope you and Faith will stand all this together and come out stronger than ever. My best wishes for all of you, I keep my fingers crossed for both of you.
We'll be fine...We have no choice but to push forward and so that's what we will do. Hopefully the results come back ok and w e can eliminate that scenario altogether. Thanks for your message. I appreciate it.
I hope the best for Faith. Please let us know the test results.
We're hoping things will work out for the best.
Oh I admire you and your relationship with Faith so so much! You are such a good team! You fight together and power through anything! I can only hope and desire to find a guy who has such a good character like you. And I am sure any guy would be lucky to have a woman like Faith in their life.
I agree so much with you on this, always tell people you love them, it is never too much or too soon. Life is so precious and we only have the now. So I am sure you will spoil Faith with lots of cuddles and kisses and hugs, she deserves it and you're such a great person!
This year was such a roller coaster for you... I admire you for your strenght, I really do!
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Faith and I are very lucky I think; We bounce off each other and seem to have the ability to get things done, no matter how hard they may be. I don't know what it's like for others but we feel fortunate to have the ability to give and take and the maturity to have patience and understanding. A lot of things go into creating a good relationships though.
I can only admire and desire to experience such a wonderful connection with someone. I am sure it is a lot of work behind this. And it is worth it.
Yes, a lot of work...And it's important to be the right people in the first place. We are very lucky to be who we are and, without seeming to be immodest, feel like we are pretty good at our relationship. We would have been in it for the last thirty three years if we were not I guess.
My wish for everyone is to have the sort of relationship Faith and I share...It's pretty decent.
You said one very important thing right there: the right kind of people in the first place. I realised later in life we can't change people. They can only change themselves. Often there are so many years wasted trying to show people their wrong doings.
We are not perfect, but that shouldn't be an excuse for not trying and be satisfied with mediocrity. I believe that everybody can make mistakes, what we do after is what counts.
You can't make anything out of the people who won't go deep within and realise they have to change. It is indeed a waste of time
In the lucky cases, in which you selected with care the future partner, it will still be a lot of work, but at least it will be way better with two people putting each other on 1st place and always improve. I believe that if a relationship isn't helping you be better and improve you as a person and instead is bringing you and your dreams down, then it is not right for you.
Agreed. When Faith and I met we were little more than kids. I was seventeen and a half and she was almost sixteen and we have beet together ever since. We grew together, neither trying to change the other. So many things came into play throughout our lives and we've had good and bad times, but we always respected the other and showed patience and understanding. It's not always easy, but we made it work.
A good model. I am inspired by the two of you. Bravo!
ENGAGEtokens.