The Fear of Messing Up: My Journey in Art!

“Messing up is part of growth; no need to run from it!” It is easy to say that, but the idea of it makes it hard.

Do you know what the hardest part is? It is not the exact moment of messing up something, because honestly, making a mess is an easy act. The hardest part is when you are at the moment of thinking about the possibility that you might do something that will ruin everything, because it stops you from doing things.

Hello, Hive friends! It’s Abby. Like what I have mentioned in my Intro Blog, in me, the love for art exists. Now, I want you to know me more. I want to welcome you all in my sphere and explore my artistic side. Thus, I will be your tour guide for today. Fasten your seatbelts, my friends, and let’s now head to @abbysphere.

Now that I think about it, I might have been born to love art. Who knows, I might be a reincarnation of one of the art masters from the past, right? Hahahahaha. I believe that all of us were artists once. I mean don’t you remember the times we drew and colored things in school back when we were kids?

Like what Antoine de Saint-Exupery said in his book The Little Prince,

"All grown-ups were once children – although a few of them remember it.”

We were all artists, it’s just that we tend to forget about it once we grow up. I, on the other hand remembers it and I’m glad that I did. Let’s just say that my love for art gifted me an identity; an identity which I adore a lot.

_{Painting session with my cousins: Teaching them how to paint.}

You know what? When you see your friends and you remember them as someone who dances, someone who sings, someone who does sports, that is how I want people to think of me. I want them to think of me as someone who does art and not as their academically inclined classmate. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful to be someone who somehow excels in class, but that is not just how I wanted to be remembered.

The Beauty of Being an Amateur; The Struggle of Being a Semi-Pro

There is beauty in being an amateur! You receive less pressure, I would say. It’s like you are somehow given the leeway for being a beginner; thus, it won’t be much of a crime if you end up creating horrible pieces. I remember creating a lot of not-so-flattering pieces back then, and the people around me would shower me with positive comments and praise. I felt so free at that time.

_{The first time I painted following Bob Ross' Tutorial (last 2020) And yes, I have my hair short! (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)}

However, the moment I stepped out from being an amateur to someone who already started creating decent pieces, the world started to become much more difficult to please. Accepting criticism is indeed helpful for us to grow and learn, but at times, it is unavoidable to be pained by those harsh comments. I have experienced my art getting laughed at. I may have tried to act cool, but it's painful. With that, I get more conscious of my art and how the audience will react. I sometimes end up forgetting the main reason why I do art in the first place, and that is not to please others but to let my soul breathe.

Fan art Portrait (Pencil Sketches)

Watercolor Illustrations

When do I usually end up making pieces that satisfy me?

The less I think, the better I create.

Whenever I paint without thinking much, my hand moves faster and smoother. The freedom I give to myself allows my true emotions to flow, making it easier for me to express them in my art.

_{Ghibli Scene Painting: My Neighbor Totoro!}

Recently I found a lovely photo I wanted to paint and recreate. One night, I grabbed my sketchbook and pencil, grabbed a pillow and sat like a shrimp on our sofa. I played some music and started sketching. Hours passed by unnoticeably and a sudden realization hit me that I had already finished the sketch. I love it! In my eyes it is a lovely sketch. Honestly, the outcome was unexpected since drawing portraits of people isn’t my forte.

Fear of Messing Up

That’s when I froze up!

I became too scared to mess up my little sketch and did not touch it for several days. I thought, maybe I’ll just keep it like this and say it’s already finished. Until my master’s voice echoed in,

“We don’t make mistakes; these are happy little accidents."
- Bob Ross

It was from him that I learned how to paint landscapes, my favorite subject to create. Thus, how can I still remain a coward and not paint my sketch?

With the hint of bravery I was able to gather in me, step by step I started filling my sketch with colors.

First, I did an underpainting that will serve as my guide later on, to easily determine the shadows and highlights. Aside from that, underpainting adds more life to the piece.

A splash of paint to the background, another brush for the skin, and next to the clothes. I sat for hours and finished my painting!

My friends, it is not our capability that stops us from doing the things we love; it is our fear. Overcoming that fear is not easy and will never be easy. You just have to do your best at gathering all of the strengths and courage you can to do the first step.

Once you did, you will be a bit braver than you were the first time you did the first step to do the next one. To all my fellow artists and to those who struggle from the fear of messing up in life, it is fine; you are doing alright.

Have fun and let there be a mess; just remember that the happiest moments of our lives are when we were just little kids who once made lots of mess. Let those happy little accidents happen and have your brush lead the way.