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RE: The Inkwell Fiction Challenge / Achilles' childhood (ESP)(ENG)

in The Ink Well4 years ago (edited)

Hello @sevalo13, thank you for your story, it was a sweet tale.
The Ink Well Community Rules request posts in English: please place the English version first, followed by the Spanish.
You may want to reconsider using swear words: there is a place for them, but gratuitous use undermines good writing.
Please watch for pronoun use:

That night I was sitting on the furniture, after talking to Mom on the phone, assuring him that I would behave.

Him should be her.

Good start!

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Thank you, I correct it.