Although this is certainly a nice tale of friendship through adversity, it would be even nicer with some editing and further development. We often provide feedback to writers who are just getting started. The Ink Well has some great resources in our catalog of fiction writing tips.

For example, we have tips on developing characters in your stories, and integrating action, dialog and narrative. These resources can help you learn how to include the important elements of fiction in your stories. We hope this feedback helps!

Thank you for sharing your story with us, and for your engagement with other members of the community.