Greetings, @gi-de-on! John's limited experience with people leads him into amazing situations. Your story leaves an open ending so we have no idea what will happen to the main character.
We often provide feedback to writers who are just getting started. The Ink Well has some great resources in our catalog of fiction writing tips. For example, we have tips on developing characters in your stories, and integrating action, dialog and narrative. These resources can help you learn how to include the important elements of fiction in your stories.