You provide two interesting alternative endings to your imaginative story. However, this poor MC's life just seems to go from bad to worse. Although its good to show a character whose life is in complete turmoil, you can risk losing the sympathy of the reader but making too much go wrong for him, such that it becomes a comedy of errors - the reader stops believing that all of this could possibly happen to one character.

Your writing would also benefit from the use of an editor to check for spelling and grammatical errors. To this end, the following resources may be of some use to you.

We recommend the article, Help for the Grammatically Challenged, which provides important tips on how to use Google Docs to draft your stories. It will point out errors that need to be fixed, and you can fix them by clicking on them.

The Ink Well is devoted to encouraging quality fiction writing and community engagement. You will find if you take the time to improve your writing and fix grammatical errors, you will receive higher curation on your posts.