You pack a lot of history into this story! We learn so much about Joe's life over the last few years here, yet there is something that feels unresolved. For example, we do not really learn how Linda and Joe got so close that they would decide to spend their lives together. It would seem that they never dated, and only met at the hospital. This detail sticks out as odd, especially because the original conflict of the story was Chealsea's illness.

Although you do resolve that detail near the end, we are left with many questions. By editing stories down for clarity, we can focus on the main plot line. You can learn about this skill from an article in our catalog of fiction writing tips called Show, Don't Tell. We hope this feedback helps! Thank you for sharing your story with us, and for your engagement with other members of the community.