hello @aloysiusmbaba. Your short story introduces quite a few characters and story lines in a very short space of time, but it is not possible to do justice to all of them with a limited word count. The piece was intriguing with some great ideas for a plot but felt more like an opening chapter to a much longer story. You have allowed your unbridled imagination and creativity to flow but at the expense of developing your characters and remaining focused on the central plot. You therefore leave the reader with far too many questions about your main character's adoptive parents, birth parents, maternal great grandfather, aunt, the company business, the attackers, the snipers, the cause of his mother's death, and so on. There are so many facts shared that we start to lose track of what may or may not be relevant to the plot. Always remember, that nothing should be added to a story unless it is important to the plot including. By not resolving the conflicts within your story, the reader is left feeling unsatisfied by the end because there is effectively no story arc or character arc. Take a look at our pinned post in The Ink Well community to learn more about how to hone your craft so that you can learn to channel your creativity more effectively while using good fiction writing technique. Your piece would also have benefited from an edit to identify and correct issues with spelling, grammar, and punctuation.