Short John Silver

in The Ink Well2 months ago (edited)

Short John silver, the man who was too short to fly

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I can remember it clearly back then in the airforce we wore shorts and long stokings, it gives me a reason to laugh, but that was not the main muses, it was short John silver. His real name was Shahu John abqji, he was the first short man I have ever seen flying a plane. I use to wonder how he saw through the windshield.

It was the early stages of the civil war and we were drafted from all over, I myself was a farmer, i knew nothing of the art of war. I was new babe. We were in training and then there he was, short John, he was 1.51, he said he wasn't but we all knew it he was daftred as we were, and didn't want to feel small.

We passed the training and the military saw it fit to send us to the air-regement, we took Courses to become airmen. It was not easy, short John, surprisingly found it easy. He always said, "I was born to fly". Back then we could not keep up to him, looking back he looked like a short yam, Hahahahah. Short John was never intimidated by our laughter, it was as if it gave him strength.

We finally became airmen, and were ready to support our ground troops when called upon. I always marvelled at the way the army looked as us as heros. The way I saw it, we were just going to drop some support and missiles time to time, yet we stole the day. Huh, sometimes I wonder how it would have ended if I wasn't sent to the air-regiment.

One of our support mission was to level the plain field before our boys could set foot. It was a simple job, easy breezy, little did we knew the enemy were ready for us. We flew in like we own the skies, loud and fast. We met airplane canons but that was not the problem.

We became the prays and we did our best, out of the 9 of us only four made it back. Thanks to short John's combat skills. Those are tales we boys we never forget. To be honest I can't still remember that day clearly, it was as if there was no level of training that could prepare us for what we encounter.
I could remember breathing heavily and seeing boys falling like flies. The enemy didn't have the fast planes so they replaced it with numbers. Boys that don't mind crashing their planes onto ours if it mean taking us out.
I knew we were their greatest threat but not to this level.

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Short John wasn't phased at all, he was calm and decisive, I could remember her voice, giving was us courage, what an irony, he was the one giving us courage.. Huh.
We defended our flags and shot their birds of the skies, we also completed our objectives.

Short John was our best flyboy, God, that boy can fly. He often made maenuvers we haven't seen before. He took down more enemy combatant than me and the rest of the boys combined. When the war was over he was give him the silver star. That was how we started calling him short John silver, we were honored too, it's just that it sounded more wonderful to call him "Short John silver". I and the rest of the boys continued, I quickly move up the ranks. I choose to train our boys instead.

Short John silver, quietly retired after the war, went back to his state. I could never understand why he went back to a quiet life. He was our best after all. We were in touch but lost contact due to more duties. He got married and had kids. I really will like us old boys to see someday.

They all retired, and left me in the army, they tired forcing me too, I always tell them I want to train as much as I can, so our boys never get to go through what we did.

It's been years now and we boys haven't gotten the opportunity to see, maybe it's because it will remind us of the boys we lost. I really want us to meet but short John never showed to our reunions. Out of four only one do come. Regardless I will pay them a visit maybe know what's in their mind.

Regardless they are our boys, my boys, and I will find a way

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You have the bones of a good story here, @sabiukpa, but it is riddled with avoidable errors. The narrative flows. You describe scenes vividly. You have a strong arc. However, there are so many errors (ex: "He took than more enemy combatant, me and the rest of the boys combined) that it distracts the reader from the meat of the story.

Also, we really appreciate authors who support others. While you do comment on other authors, the comments don't really tell anything about the story.

We are taking the time, and trouble, to comment on this piece because it does have good potential. It is our belief that you could turn in really fine stories if you clean them up a bit.

Thanks for sharing this with us.

Thanks for the honest review, and I will work on the necessaries and try do what is needed.