Out of the Clique

The bell rung signaling the end of our final class period. Collective sighs were heard when our instructor left our classroom. My classmates hurriedly collected the things in their desks as if they're too eager to get out from our classroom. Well, it's kind of understandable, I guess.

I slowly packed my things because I knew there would be no point in making haste. I am one of the cleaners today, so I have no choice but to stay behind. I sighed when I saw the entirety of our classroom because it's indeed quite messy.

After packing my things, I immediately helped my co-cleaners tidy up our room. Since I'm the last to help out, I volunteered to arrange the chairs and desks. I'm almost done with my tasks when I hear a gentle knock, and to my surprise, it's my Filipino instructor. We don't have a schedule for that day, so I was baffled that she was there. I immediately went towards her, and I somehow felt nervous when I saw her smiling. For us, it's really a bad omen whenever we see our instructors smiling—either he or she has a favor to ask for or he or she is bringing a good news , which is bad for us, the students.

I plastered a fake smile on my face when I saw her, and my nervousness spiked up when I saw that small paper in her hand.

'God, let my suspicion be wrong', I plead silently.

"Hello, gette, how are you? Are you done cleaning?", she asked while slightly peeking into the almost cleaned room.

"Yes, ma'am, I'm almost done," I said politely.

"Oh, it seems that I've disturbed you," she said with a hint of reluctance.

"No, maam, I'm almost done cleaning, so it's not really a bother for me."

"I see, I see—anyway, this won't last long; come with me for a while because there's something I'm going to tell you. I'll just talk with you all at once so that there won't be any questions afterwards."

I tried to process what she said. I gulped when she looked at me expectantly. I just absentmindedly nodded, not knowing how to respond at all.

"Ok, see you at the library at 4:00. Don't be late because I don't want to repeat giving instructions."

With that, she left me—completely baffled by what she had just said.

---

_Source

Despite my complete ignorance of what my Filipino instructor had said, I went to the library before 4:00. As usual, it was packed with a lot of students. I scanned the whole library to see if my Filipino instructor was there, but fortunately she hasn't arrived yet. I just sat on the stairs near the front door so that I could easily see her when she arrived. I grabbed some books to read, and after some minutes of reading, I already saw her entering the library. I was about to approach her when he saw me.

"Here you are, come with me! Where are the other participants? Have you met them already?"

I frozed. Did I mishear it? Other participants?

"Huh, ma'am? What other participants?"

"Wait, don't tell me Ame didn't tell you?", she asked me suspiciously.

"N-no, ma'am," I nervously stuttered.

She seemed to sense my uneasiness, so she immediately told me what Ame should have told me.

"Oh, don't worry, gette, it's not really a big deal. You just need to participate in a small impromptu speech contest for our Filipino culminating program tomorrow," she said nonchalantly.

I was speechless for a moment because it seemed my brain didn't want to process what I'd heard.

'Impromptu in the culmination program?'

'Impromptu in the culmination program tomorrow'

'Impromptu in the culmination program tomorrow—wait what?!!'

I suddenly snapped out when I realized something. Impromptu speech contests were usually held on stage, and that means...

My teacher seemed to take my silence positively, so she proceeded to talk further.

"Anyway, where are they?", she said while looking around. She suddenly smiled when she spotted a group of students seated on the second floor of the library. I followed her gaze, and when I saw who she was looking at, I was appalled.

She suddenly urged me to join them, and despite my sudden urge to apparate, I sat down with them.

My Filipino instructor started giving us instructions about the contest that will be held during the Filipino culminating program tomorrow. I was halfheartedly listening to her instructions because I knew this participation was clearly a mistake. I know I'm not meant for this.

I sneaked a glance at my fellow contestants, and my heart instantly fell into despair when I recognized their faces because surely I am no match for them.

'Someone, please save me,' I pleaded silently.

'Please...'

---

_Source

I've been at the backstage pacing for almost five minutes. I'm drowning in a lot of negative emotions, and there was definitely no escape from them. The gaping entrance of the backstage area is tempting me to get out and run from the contest, but I knew that would just mean another embarrassment for me and my whole section.

I looked at my fellow contestants, and I immediately felt a pang of jealousy.

'Why can't I just be like them?'

I felt so out of place at that moment because I knew I didn't really fit in their clique. They look so ready for this, while here I am looking like a fish out of water.

At that moment, I just wanted to go back to our unpleasant classroom and hide my sorry self from the whole crowd.

My gut clenched when I heard the bell ping. I felt my knees failing me. I know I'll really fail. I'm certain I will, but I have to participate even though I know this will be a huge flop.

I stiffly walked towards the center of the stage, where the contestant was supposed to stand. My breath almost hitched when I saw the huge crowd.

'God, this would be great,' I thought sarcastically.

'I'm doomed'

The host of the contest was finished talking when a large picture appeared on the white wall.

"Ayon sa litratong ipinakita, paano mo maihahalintulad ang ating wika rito? Mayroon kang dalawang minuto upang ipaliwanag ang iyong kasagutan."

(Based on the picture that was shown, how will you relate our language to it? You have two minutes to explain your answer.)

"Handa ka na ba? O siya atin na'tong simulan!"

(Are you ready? Ok, let's start!)

The bell rang, and I started sharing my point. I stuttered a lot, partly because I don't have much idea about what I am saying and also because there were a lot of people watching me.

'1:51'

"—Kaya nararapat na kagaya ng isang inang kumakalinga sa kanyang anak, ating pangalagaan ang ating wika," I answered rapidly as I glanced at the timer.

(—That's why it's important that, like a caring mother to her child, we should also care for our language)

'1:54'

"Lalo pa natin itong pagyamanin at gamitin sapagkat ito'y parte ng ating pagkakakilanlan—wikang ating ginamit upang makamit ang ating kalayaan, wik—

(Let's further enrich our knowledge and usage of it because it is part of our identity—the language that we used to achieve our freedom, langu—)

'2:00'

The bell pinged, signaling the end of my allotted time.

"Iyong lamang po salamat," (That's all, thank you) I said with a hint of reluctance. I knew that my little speech would not make it on time, so I just ended it with a little gratitude.

The crowd somehow applauded, but I didn't care because I just wanted to get out of their sights.

I wanted to cry because I knew that it didn't end well.

I immediately walked out of the stage before the host told me to.

'As if I had reasons to stay to'

---

The results came out, and obviously I didn't reach the top three. I wanted to laugh out loud because I really thought I would rank last among the contestants, but it turns out I wasn't the only one who struggled that day.

Finally, I felt relaxed because there would be no reason for me to be nervous. I felt a light tap in my right shoulder, and when I looked around, it was Lili and Grid.

"What are you standing around, gette? Aren't you going home? Let's go!", Lili said enthusiastically while grabbing my arm.

Grid lifted my bag and slammed it back at me. I jokingly yelped as she laughed at me.

"Cheer up baby, cheer up baby~ ayaw na ka sad oh gette (don't be sad oh gette)~", Lili sang as she walked beside me.

I laughed at her.

I'm glad they didn't talk to me about the contest because I wouldn't want to. For now.

'Not bad for a first-timer,' I thought while walking towards the gate.

_Source

"Byeeee getteee!", they shouted while crossing the street.

"Byeeee," I responded while waving at them.

I exhaled loudly, then smiled to myself.

'What a day!'