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     2 years ago  

    Congratulations @onyema-norbert! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s):

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       2 years ago  

      This is a really interesting story, @onyema-norbert. You introduce a fascinating character, someone who obviously has an obsession. That's not a bad thing, but it does seem to drive him to a kind of mania where he can't think of anything else.

      Reading your story takes some work because of odd phrases that pop up. We are alerting you to this because you have an interesting perspective and it seems you have something to say. However, please look at the paragraphs copied below (from your piece) and note the bold parts.

      There was one thing totally different regarding king. He genuinely appeared unaware of the activity around him. He Sabbatum at the table, enclosed by bottles and half-eaten bowls of avocado dip, scribbling during a notebook.

      No, not scribbling. for many of the time he Sabbatum together with his pen poised over the paper, utterly inactive. just the once each couple of minutes would he write a note. His eyes ne'er left the Moleskine pad. Even once he reached for his will of Red Stripe his eyes didn’t follow his hand.

      In the end we realize this odd person is distracted and scribbling. But it is very hard to tease this out. Perhaps there is a translation program you are using that is mangling your text. You should be aware that this is happening, though.

      There are instances of odd phrasing in your story, besides those noted above.

      Again, let us repeat, the story introduces a very interesting character. If you could find a way to get around the strange phrases that pop up, it would be very helpful to the piece.

      Thank you for thinking of us when you write creatively. We hope you can sort out the style difficulty.

      Take care.

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