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Hey man, it’s been a while, hope you are doing fine now?
Yea, I manage to survive, thanks.
If I may ask, how do you go about it?
Why not, but I must confess to you; that particular day was one of the terrific days I will never forget in my entire life.
As usual, I was in the bank to cash out money to settle my workers, but on that day, things went the other way round. I can remember vividly that it was around 3:30 pm on Thursday, I went straight to the bulk room, did my transaction as soon as I can in order to be able to meet my workers at the site, and boom! It was a bomb blast. At that very moment, the terrible blast did not only render me dumbfounded, but it left my eyes with a lot of dust that I couldn’t see, and my ears were forced to go on break for some minutes.
Oh! Sorry we have been standing, please follow me; let’s go make ourselves comfortable.
It was disclosed in the news that the armed robbers kept the bomb in a car parked close to the entrance of the bank and got it exploded as soon as they are ready to strike. However, I find it difficult to believe there is a bomb with such a large range, though some people said it was C4.
That may be true because I was unconscious till when someone pulled out the bag of money I held, but at that very moment, I couldn’t move nor see. The pain coming from my left leg became much more unbearable, I tried to pull out the leg but something heavy was on it. Then I began to scream for help at the top of my voice. Help! Help!! And before I scream the third time, someone hit something on my head from behind and that was all I remember until when I opened my eyes at the hospital.
I spent the first eight weeks after the incident at the hospital, and at the point of discharge, I felt embarrassed because what I had left in my account wasn’t enough to settle my hospital bills. So I had to reach out to some of my family members for help even though we were not on good terms. Insults upon insult were what I got from most of them until when my uncle stepped in and helped with the hospital bills.
On getting home, I begin to face threats from the workers I am supposed to pay with the stolen money, and looking at the level the building was, it is inadvisable to abandon the project, so I took the bold step of selling my car just to make sure the construction of the building is completed. Survival after that incident is in no way a palatable one, it cost me a lot of time, effort, resources, and sweat.
Glad you survived it, I will come to visit next month.
THE END
Our narrator is both fortunate, and unfortunate. He was unfortunate to be in the bank when the robbery occurred, and unfortunate to have his money stolen. However, he survived. And, it seems he will prevail over challenging circumstances.
Thank you for sharing this story with us, @oluwashinaayomi. Although you tell the story as a flashback, you manage to keep the story line coherent. That is not easy in this format. Have you read and commented on the work of at least two other writers this week? (See The Ink Well community rules on our home page.) This helps our community thrive, and also makes you eligible to be chosen for a spotlight in our weekly highlights magazine. Thank you!
Thanks for taking your time to read through.
I do read stories from other writers, even though I hardly leave comment. I will try as much as I can to at least comment on 5 stories before the end of this week.
Hello @oluwashinaayomi,
You begin this story well. Your first line let's us know that the narrator has suffered some sort of physical harm. This line is also an invitation for the narrator to launch into a description of the events at the bank.
You use dialogue well, also. It drives the story forward. And, you share the narrator's state of mind and make his current state credible. I suggest that you separate paragraphs with a space. It makes reading easier.
It is a good, action-packed story. Thank you!
Thanks for reading through. I will try my best not to make the same mistake in my next story.
Thanks for you contribution, I really, really appreciate it.
Hello @oluwashinaayomi,
The curation team loves to see writers grow. That's what we are all about. Ink Well is a little bit like a writing workshop. All the writers support and help each other. Sometimes that means making a helpful suggestion.
Looking forward to reading more of your stories. Hope you have a wonderful evening.
A terrible situation looms over the future of an entrepreneur who narrates an incident at the bank that puts him on the brink of ruin.
We do not understand, as readers, the reason that separates him from his family who refuse to help him, nor the bond that unites him with his interlocutor.
Thank you for publishing his story, @oluwashinaayomi.
oh! that is a loop hole from my side. however, the narrator was narrating the story to an old secondary school friend. thanks for the observation, and thanks for reading.
Thanks for sharing your story in The Ink Well, @oluwashinaayomi. You did a nice job with the dramatic effects. It's kind of shocking that after he experiences a bomb blast at a bank and spends two months the hospital that his family ridicules him for not being able to pay his hospital bills! But some families are like that.
Thanks for taking your time to read. something I observe about life is "is either you are with them (family members) or you are against them. you can never be neutral to them" what I mean is, if you don't stay around them, or be bird of the same feather with them, there is high tendency of them seeing you as an enemy; most especially in extended family.