Should it be the joy of motherhood or the sacrifices of motherhood

Warning: THIS IS A SENSITIVE POST.

I gave up believing that people mean it when make the statement “Children are a blessing from God”. This is because one thing I have noticed is that most people make this statement when the circumstances surrounding the child’s birth are not good.

My niece came into thw world yesterday. I became an aunt yesterday. I can’t really say I’m happy or sad. But I was really excited when I saw her (the baby).

She looked so innocent and harmless. She was so small. She was beautiful from birth. Her face is the size of my lose fist. She had a lot of hair on her head and also on her forehead. I love that for her. The top of her ears are dark. The nurses said the colour of a new born baby’s ears is his/her true complexion, so my niece is dark in complexion even if she is quite fair now.

Her legs also looked slender and long. But even with all these beautiful qualities, I know our lives are about to change. I don’t really like change, whether good or bad. It makes me cringe, then I eventually adjust to it.

You know, I’ve always loved being a girl. I liked all the attention I usually got from the opposite gender. I also loved how women are usually attended to first in unfavorable circumstances before the men. Even though I didn’t really like the sound of the tag “weaker vessels” that we bear, I usually compensated myself with the statement that said “a woman’s wrath is worse than that of the devil’s”. If makes me feel that even though they see us as weak beings, we are still more powerful than they are.

Come up with a better strategy to suprise the enemy and I’ll wait.

The older I got, the harder it dawned on me that were born to sacrifice themselves for others, or better still, women are expected to sacrifice themselves for others.

Being a girl comes with a lot of expectations, especially as an African child. We were thought to do whatever it takes to please our husbands. The quote “women belong to the kitchen” came from Africa. And because of this mentality, some women are maltreated to death in several African homes and no one says a words.

A man can become a father, and still live like a bachelor. But women have to think for herself, her husband and also her children. This is where marrying a kind and reasonable partner comes into play.

I watched a video on Instagram where a girl said she didn’t want to have children, and her comment section was on fire. I saw a lot of hateful comments but the one that stuck with me was the one that said “If you don’t want to bear children, what’s the point of being a woman”.

Excuse you???

Even Eve didn’t have a child, and God created her for the sole purpose of companionship.

I think its your personal decision to do with your life what you want. Everyone knows that women are responsible for reproduction, but we should also counter the fact that its their sole purpose in life. Motherhood is a very scary job to take up. Its like sowing a seed and waiting years for it to grow. But in this case, the seed might decide to grow in a way that will make or break its planter.

Some people might decide that they don’t to depend on someone’s life decisions to make or break them. So they decide to focus on themselves and their dreams and aspirations.

A lot of people might not agree with me and call it selfishness.

But I think motherhood is a full time job and when offered a job, you have the right to accept or reject it.