The Loyalty of Captain
Miss Cathy struggled with her thoughts to call her neighbor or not as she sat on the sofa holding her phone. She stared at her phone screen as though fear prevented her from touching the dial. Mr. Pat her neighbor though in his early forties looked very intimidating with his physique and seemed to care less for her grey hairs.
“How can a man be so disrespectful and cruel!” she thought aloud. She remembered how excited she was to know she had had a neighbor and had prepared a delicious meal to welcome her new neighbor. She lived in a somewhat distant and rural environment where she hardly visitors. The plains easily separated the houses here and only a few like hers had the opportunity to have a next door neighbor. Living in the central city had become a burden for as she felt the need to have some solitude while age told on her. The wrinkles on her face hardly distinguished when she smiles as she pondered repeatedly if she made the right choice to stay away from the noise of the central city.
She was fond of reading and she had ordered for books that she could turn her home into a library. Occasionally her nephew came visiting with his wife and two beautiful kids. They had their way of bringing life to her home and the kids seemed to be good at displacing everything she had worked hard to arrange and most especially, her books. For some time now, she had missed their presence but, captain had kept her on her toes. She wondered what she would do without him as he stayed almost glued to her.
Captain is very jolly, well-bred and now healthy looking as opposed to when he was brought some three months ago. Then, he looked quite skinny and very timid with his ribs almost countable to the physical eyes. She had fell in love with him immediately she saw him and groaned when she saw his whine and bark was a little short of life. She had wondered if he was not diseased as he looked malnourished and short of love.
Miss Cathy glanced at Captain who lay comfortably in her living room and she smiled at him. She knew she had to enjoy the moment with him for whenever his owner returned, that would signal the end of their companionship. Captain was as well drawn to her as he fondly followed her everywhere and sometimes, he would just follow her with his gaze.
Miss Cathy turned to Captain as he began to bark. Then she heard the sound of an approaching car. She looked through the window and there coming towards their apartment was the truck of her neighbor. ‘His driving looked equally reckless as his personality was’ she thought to herself. She was glad she did not have to burden herself to dial his number to ask if he would be coming back anytime soon because of his dog – Captain.
Mr. Pat drove right in front of his compound and noticed his old lady neighbor step out of her apartment with his dog trailing right behind her. He sure looked healthier and well fed. ‘This woman must have taken good care of him’ he thought to himself. He was not in the mood for whatever she was coming out for and for all he cared, she could keep him. He never had the time for Captain and he never got into a good relationship with his neighbor either.
“Welcome Mr. Pat, how was your travel”, Miss Cathy spoke coming a bit close though with a significant distance between them both. She watched as he unpacked his load without responding to her.
“Do you need any help with your load Mr. Pat?” she offered further.
“No, I’m fine”, Mr. Pat retorted.
“Alright, I took care of your dog in the meantime, hope you are not offended” Miss Cathy stated as she noticed he was beginning to feel uneasy. “I’ll just go inside”, she said further. She turned to leave when she heard Mr. Pat yell at Captain.
“Captain!” he yelled but rather than Captain running towards him, he whined and hid himself behind Miss Cathy. Mr. Pat looked intently at Captain with an expression of anger and yet, confusion.
“Fine, you can keep him”, he said to Miss Cathy and continued offloading his luggage.
“Thank you so much”, Miss Cathy expressed turning to her apartment. She felt elated Mr. Pat released his dog to her but felt somewhat pity for Mr. Pat. He sounded depressed and easily irritable. Perhaps this was his personality but then, she had more exciting feeling as Captain wagged his tail and ran ahead of her into her apartment.
Thank you for reading through.
Miss Cathy indeed tried to show a hand of good neighborliness to Mr. Pat but for some reasons best known to Mr. Pat, she was unwelcome. Perhaps his cold attitude also to Captain made the dog to stick to Miss Cathy. Animals are capable of feeling love!!!
I think Miss Cathy will serve as a better owner for Captain considering that he doesn't seemed to care much for the poor dog. Well, maybe he does care for Captain in his own way but the dog would be much happier with his new owner. Not to mention, Miss Cathy will also have a companion to accompany her always.
Thank you
Definitely yes
Captain felt more real love from Miss Cathy and yes, she needed the company more.
Thank you for stopping by
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Life comes with too many challenges and sometimes sharing our challenges with understanding minds eases the burden we carry.
Not knowing when one needs help is the worst thing that can happen to a man like Mr Pat
True, our help could actually lie with our neighbors
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This is a lovely story, @jjmusa2004. You have a very nice storytelling style.
We are here to help our community members develop their craft, and we'd like to provide some feedback to help you on your writing journey.
First, you have done a nice job of telling the story from Miss Cathy's perspective. But when Mr. Pat arrives, you suddenly shift to his perspective:
We call this "head hopping." Instead of staying inside Miss Cathy's mind, suddenly we are inside Mr. Pat's mind. It is better to stay within the perspective of the main character.
Second, you have a number of grammatical errors in your story. These can typically be remedied with tools like Grammarly, or by drafting your story in Google Docs. It will point out the errors, and then you can click on them to fix them. You can read about it in our Help for the Grammatically Challenged article in our catalog of fiction writing tips.
Third, at the end of your article, you have shifted from the story to your own author point of view to provide a summary of your story and tell the reader what to think about it. We really advise against this. You can read about it in our article about author intrusion. Additionally, in our recent monthly newsletter, we provided this explanation of why it is important not to provide instruction or lessons in your stories:
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We hope these tips are helpful to you! Good luck and keep writing! And thank you for participating in the community by reading and commenting on the work of other community members.