The cobwebs I couldn't blow away

Coming from a family where everyone is expected to be literate can be hard sometimes. In my family, my dad was a first-class graduate, and my mom graduated with second-class upper honors; thus, they expected the same from their children. There was no room for failure, and my dad drummed this into the minds of me and my siblings from an early age.

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One time, during my high school days, I had a D in one of my subjects, which others would normally consider as a fair score, but the fear of what I'd face at home wouldn't let me return home. One of my teachers had to drive me home and plead with my mom, who had been in the house at that time, and luckily for me, she heard her pleas and kept mute till later at night when my dad came back from work. I got the hots from him that night.

"Jane, what is your excuse for having this in your results?" My dad yelled at me.

I quavered at the sound of his voice. I stared pleadingly at my mom with hopes that she'll come to my aid, but she didn't bat an eye, and that night, my dad yelled and yelled till I could take no more of it, and this caused me to cry.

"What are those tears for? Do you think it'll save you? I spend money sponsoring your education, and this is what I get at the end. I'm very much disappointed." My dad vented all his anger at me before he finally retired for the night.

Having this in mind, I strived to always make more A's and a few B's in my results till I graduated from high school.

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Moving on, I got admitted to the university, and in my first year, I did all I could to maintain the status quo of my results. The first year didn't seem hard as it was just the repetition of things I already knew; I told myself that I would thrive here.
I made friends with people who were also bookworms, and I kept my circle tight. Honestly, I led a boring life in my first year, as I couldn't attend any of the social gatherings; everyone thought me to be an introvert.

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One day, I read all through the night, and when I saw that my classes for the day had been cancelled, I decided to catch some sleep. My friends were with me too, and we all slept. Little did we know that an impromptu class had been fixed, and the lecturer gave her text that day, and we missed it. Hours later, we woke up and got the news, but by the time we got to the class, the lecture had ended and the lecturer had gone also.

I couldn't hold back my tears when I was informed that I had just lost 30 marks for missing the text. My dad's bellowing voice came back to me, and I shuddered. One of my friends held me close to herself to console me and also shield my crying face from people.

"Jane, why in the world are you crying?" Promise asked me.

"I just lost 30 marks; how am I going to make up for it?" I cried the more.

"We all lost it, and besides, we still have the exam to write. I'm sure you'll do well in the exam." She said to me.

"My dad is not going to let this go." I whispered with a shaky voice.

Promise sighed and hugged me close. She has always complained of the heavy pressure I was putting myself under, but she understood why I was that way.

"Jane, I'm going to be brutally honest with you. Your dad may have graduated with first-class honors, but he's not you, and you're not him. Yes, you might have his blood flowing through your veins, but you can't kill yourself over this. I strongly suggest you let go of your fear and do what you can do. Take it easy on yourself." She advised.

"Jane, Promise is right. You might break down if you keep doing this. It's just a text, and you can always make up for it. You're brilliant; you need to blow away the cobwebs and take care of yourself first, lest you break down." My other friend, Delight, said to me.

I kept mute. I couldn't say a word to them because I knew that 30 marks was a lot to lose, and I didn't think I'd ever let go of my fears of academic failure.

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Thanks for reading.