A heart of guilt

As he drove past, he saw her. He immediately stepped on the brakes, and the car forcefully screeched to a stop. Then he threw the car door open and ran into the street, but he couldn't find her again. He walked to the end of the road and returned back, but he couldn't find her anywhere. He cursed inwardly and turned back towards his car, then bumped into her.

"I'm so sorry." He apologized to the girl in front of him. She bent down and picked up her bag, which had fallen from her hands.

"It's alright, just watch where you're headed next time." She replied and walked past him.

"Excuse me, Miss?" John called out and strode to her. "Sorry, again, but you look so much like someone I know. Could you be related to Elma?" He asked her.

"And who's asking?" She replied, suddenly feeling disturbed by his presence.

"I'm John. I and Elma go way back to college." He explained.

"I guess you haven't kept in touch, have you?" She asked him.

"We lost contact, and I couldn't find her. The last I heard of her was she had traveled." John said in response.

"I'm Nancy. She's my mom." She finally said after a short moment of silence.

"Whoa, I thought as much. Could you let me meet up with her?" John asked, his eyes dancing with excitement.

"She's dead." Nancy blurted out, and John froze.

"I'm so sorry to hear this." He managed to say.

"Alright. I'm running late for work, and you need to be on your way." Nancy said to him and walked into the saloon that was across the street.
John watched after her as she entered the saloon, then he returned to his car and drove off.

---

In his office, John dialed a number.
"Hi John." An excited female voice greeted from the other end of the line.

"Hi Ollie, how are you doing?" He asked.

"No, how...are you doing?" The lady returned the question. "You don't sound like yourself. What's going on?" Olivia asked him, concerned.

"I ran into Nancy today." John said and drew a long breath.

"And who could that be?" She asked him.

"Elma's daughter. They look so alike... I don't know what to do" John fidgeted as he spoke.

"John, calm down. Are you at your office?" She asked him.

"Yes." He replied.

"I'm on my way to you now. Be cool and relax." With that, Olivia hung up.

Source

"So, what did you say to the girl?" Olivia asked John. She sat on a couch that was across from his desk.
There was a sad look in his eyes. He dropped his head on his desk and sniffled.

"John, talk to me." Olivia persuaded.

She worried for her friend. They had been friends with Elma since high school until Elma dropped out of college, and no one heard from her again. Seeing John like this made her sad. She stood from the couch and walked to his desk, then she patted him softly on his back.

"Elma's dead." John whispered through his sobs.

"Oh my goodness!!!" Olivia exclaimed, shocked at the news.

"It's all my fault. I pushed her away when she needed me." John's sniffling had turned to powerful sobs.

"It's not your fault, John, and you know it. What could you have done back then?" Olivia consoled him.

For over twenty minutes, Olivia kept patting John's back as he sobbed on, still blaming himself for Elma's death.

When he finally gave up crying, he looked up at Olivia, his eyes swollen and his face almost scarlet. Olivia gave a loud sigh and walked back to the couch. They stared at each other, their eyes speaking untold words.

---

Elma and John had been rumored to have been the best couples all through high school and college. They had won the best couple award in their prom days, but it was sad how the beautiful thing they had going on had turned sour.

"Elma, this isn't up for negotiation. You have to take it out." John said as he paced the room.

"Hell, no. We can get married, just like you've always wanted. Why do I have to abort the baby?" Elma asked him, confused.

"You don't get it, do you? With my dad running for an election, this is the last thing he needs to hear. How am I supposed to handle the campaign and this and the finals without jeopardizing the election?" John tried to persuade Elma.

"Seriously? John, is this just about the election or the fact that you don't want to marry an average lady?" Elma asked, her voice breaking.

"There's no doubt that I love you, Elma, and I wish to spend the rest of my life with you, but at some point we all need to compromise a little. Just abort the baby, and if my dad wins the election, we could try and work something out in the years to come, please." John pleaded, but Elma refused.

She felt sad and disappointed.
"John, I'm not terminating this pregnancy when I know that I could die if I try. The doctor warned us the last time. Go ahead and play daddy's boy, but I'll raise this child, and she'll never know you." Elma said and furiously stomped out of the room, leaving the frustrated John behind.

That was the last anyone ever heard of her. She stopped attending classes and being on scholarship; her sponsors withdrew as they learned that she hadn't been coming around.

Twenty years after that, Elma died of lung cancer, leaving her daughter alone to fend for herself. It had been tough on Nancy, but working at the saloon helped her in some ways.

Source

Back to John's office, Olivia gulped down a glass of water and stared at John.
"Could she be the child she had for you?" She asked him.

"I guess so. She has my eyes." John replied shortly.

"What do we do now? You're running for the senate election; you don't need all this trouble." Olivia pointed out.

"I don't care about the election. I was a coward back then, but I'm not going to run away again. I don't care what it'll cost me, but I'm going to give Nancy everything I could've given her mother. That's the only way this guilt in my heart can be lifted." John said in response.
His mind was made up.

"John, I think you should stop blaming yourself for what happened." Olivia softly said.

"There's no way I can stop doing that. If only I had paid attention to her back then or probably looked for her after she left, things would've been different. All the pain she must've gone through, how can I not blame myself? I am guilty, and I'm going to atone for my sins. I won't sit back now and watch my daughter suffer just as her mother did." He said it with a note of finality.

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