I really got caught up in your Narnia world, @ubani1! Great storytelling. I really like the main character who narrates the story. She is smart and strong-willed. You did a great job with character development.

My one correction for you is the word "you're" which should not go at the end of a phrase or sentence. You can say "You're silly," or "I'm not sure if you're the right one for me," or "you're not wearing that on a date, are you?" But the contraction of "you are" cannot be used in all contexts. I'm not sure how to explain the rule, but if you remember not to put it at the end of a phrase or a sentence, then you should be fine! And if you're not sure, just use "you are." :-)

These instances need to change to "you are":

They say love doesn't care who you're

How much your money can bid in the auction market tells how wealthy you're.

I hope that helps!