Hi @sonofremi. I often provide feedback to emerging writers. You have a lot of opportunities to improve your writing. For example, I was confused by the very first sentence, since "bombus" is not a word. Do you mean "bombastic"?

I would like to direct you to some resources that can help you on your writing journey. Please see our catalog of fiction writing tips which provides many great resources for writers who are just starting out.

In particular, please see the post Help for the Grammatically Challenged. It provides tips for using Google Docs to draft your posts. You can do this on a PC or a smart phone. Google Docs will point out errors in grammar and wording choice, which you can then fix by clicking on them.

Following those guidelines can really help to improve your writing and result in greater rewards. Good luck and keep writing.