Unrivaled

in The Ink Well7 months ago (edited)

Congratulations! Miss Rose Sinclair, you’ve been offered an admission into YALE university, with a complete full ride scholarship including accommodations and transportation, Congrats once again.

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Rose woke up from her sleep with a smile,she sighed and said it was all a dream!! I have to buckle up and get to my real life dream.
Rose was a 16year old girl trying to get admission into college, but she lives with her maternal grandmother who feels education is not all that important since she is a girl child; but Rose on the other hand strongly believe that she wants a collar and pen kind of lifestyle, so she was struggling so hard that she takes at least 3shift jobs so she can save up for school.
Along the line while working she met a friend Layla, who was of same age with her and was planning to get into college too; was from a rich family, she was not that intelligent enough but was just interested in school so she can have her freedom of movement and enough freedom to finances from her mother.
Layla and Rose became close friends that they do almost everything together; Rose helps Layla to study hard so they can at least get into college together while Layla on the other hand shares her allowances with Rose everytime her mom appreciate her efforts; little does Rose know that every time Layla’s mom see her with her child she tend to tell her how uncomfortable she is with her daughter hanging out with someone not in same financial class as her.
Rose’s grandmother on the other hand to never cease to remind Rose of financial status and how who she’s hanging with is not in same class with her; in her grandmother’s words “ you that ur father does not have money you choose to be friends with a rich man’s child i hope it ends well”.
She always thought that her grandmother is only trying to split them apart; not knowing that what the elders sees while sitting the youngers my not see even while they climb a tree; soon it was almost time of college admission and they start preparing but while preparing one day Rose stated her fear to her friend, she told her how she have succeeded in saving up all of her tuition fees but can not afford accommodations at the moment she went ahead to beg Layla to at least accommodate her in her apartment when her parent gets her one since they’re friends it not suppose to be a problem; Layla agreed and kept rose at ease that they could stay together.
Few weeks later admissions were out they both got in and it time for them to go so Layla went her mom first so that she can sort all her tuition,registration and accommodation in school which she did; it was past a month since Layla had gone so Rose thought she would probably have settled down so she can also go for her registration too. After packing and arranging all her things she picked up her grandmother’s phone to call her friend so she can ask the direction to her apartment; the phone rang on the other end and Layla picked up, they exchanged pleasantries abd Rose quickly moved to her reason for calling only for Layla on the other end to respond by saying “ we can no longer stay together dear friend i found someone else in a better status and we share my apartment already bye” the call dropped.
Tears filled Rose’s eyes that she didn’t know who to confide in; all of her dreams of going to college were shattered,then she remembered what her grandmother always say while thinking of that she fell asleep.
It was all a dream.

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Hello @bigsavvy

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Your story could use an edit to identify and correct issues with grammar and punctuation. It will improve the flow of your writing and elevate your story. You refer to it all being a dream a couple of times during this story. Generally writers are advised to step away from turning entire stories into dreams as it tends to make the reader feel cheated after investing their time in the characters and their lives. Your multiple use of the blurb made it a little confusing for this reader as I now unsure if any of it was real or whether the entire thing from start to finish was a dream within a dream.

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