This is such an interesting, well-plotted story. In a story this long it's easy for the writer to lose the thread and get caught up in side issues. That didn't happen here. The arc, the narrative stream, is clear from beginning to end.

I was intrigued by the treatment of consciousness and concerned as the story progressed about the fate of the children. The father had such unpleasant memories that there existed a risk he might not want to come back. But the present, and his love for his daughter, won out. I do love happy endings (why not? life is so very hard sometimes).

As @jayna noted, the proofreading issues can mar a story that is really good. It's like looking at a beautiful sculpture with dust on it. We are distracted from the beauty. When I write, it takes me much, much longer to edit than to draft the original version. Those little mistakes creep in.

I can tell you enjoyed writing this. That's the best part of writing, what it gives us as authors. Keep writing!