The story is well written. The character is fully realized. The scene described in detail. And yet, I suggest to you now that you could have done more. My suggestion comes out of respect for someone who knows how to craft a story. I have to ask, why this story? Why a story that we have read before? That you have read before? Characters don't know they are dead. They are insubstantial and confused. A beloved relative comes from beyond to explain the situation and lead them away.
Have you not read this before? Have you not seen it played out in innumerable TV shows and movies?
Use your skills, please, for more original fare. I ask this as a writer who is currently looking for an original story to write, one I have not read before.
It is probably true that every story has been written in some form. What we as writers hope to do is take those stories and make them ours. Give them a fresh perspective, one that gives the reader a fresh experience.
Good writing. I know you can do better :)
You're right. I've watched and read such kind of story before and I've always wanted to write mine.
The prompt was a good match. But, yeah I understand you. I could have added a twist or something to make the story mine and not some regular story.
I'll do better next time.