Well, I couldn't have said it better. A good skill of discernment which translates to good judgment plays a key role in this instance. In all, it is situational as you've said.

One thing I like to tell myself is that, the first reaction isn't always the best, hence, thinking things through could go a long way.

In the end, it really all comes down to different factors,

how we perceive the situation,
Our mood,
Our general personality and all,