Dear You,

You are not too old, you are not too old, you are not too old.

You will have enough money, you will have enough money, you will have enough money.

Everything will work out, everything will work out, everything will work out.

Seriously, girl, what you worried about? Next year's going to be freaking awesome. A whole year to travel, just like you've done in other years, and just like you tried to do when you got stuck overseas in the middle of a freaking pandemic.

^{River by the Ganges, Haridwar, Northern India, Mar 2020}

Even then, you still got to swim in the Ganges, right? You ignored all the signs coming out of China and got an adventure anyway, well, until everything was well and truly locked down.

Yet, the chances of a pandemic happening again are pretty remote, right? So don't worry so much. Trauma does stick in the body, but you just gotta talk yourself out of that shit, and do it anyway. You know how you've always done it, right?

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

And because you've done it, or are doing it, the fear disappates. If you didn't do it that way you wouldn't have gone anywhere. You certainly wouldn't have gone to Europe and Asia with a four year old on your own all that time ago. Or to Myanmar - remember Bagan, and the monastry north of Myanmar? Or to Morocco - remember camping in a hessian tent in the Sahara desert?

Also, let go of that need to book in advance and have everything so tightly organised. You never used to do it that way! So long as you aren't trying to go anywhere in peak season, there will be accomodation everywhere - Booking.com is your friend. You've always winged it - what makes you want to unwing it now? What is it with getting older that makes you a little more anxious and a little more worried about the shit that probably won't even happen? You think it's because you know what could happen. But how often has the worst happened, proportionately?

Shut up about the pandemic. Aside from that.

Oh yeah, one hotel room in India where you had no sleep because there was a jackhammer going til 2 am because they were building a hotel next door. Yeah, India was crazy noisy. But you are working on your nervous system and adrenal glands so maybe you won't jump so much every time a rooster crows.

^{Us adventuring, Glastonbury Tor, April 2020}

You're fit. You're healthy. You're adventurous. You've got this.

Keep focussing on the good stuff.

Imagine surfing that bay in Morocco. Cycling along the Danube. Iceland.

You'll have enough money, and if you run out, borrow some. Take it off the mortgage. Whatever. You only live once. You need an adventure. Life is boring without one.

Your grandchild will only be 2 when you get back. Plenty of time for some bonding. Kids don't take much. Look how close you are to your nephews and you didn't even meet the oldest til he was 4. And your parents are in really good health. They'll survive another year without you, and if you don't, you can fly home. They want you to have an adventure and would be super annoyed if you stayed because you are worried about them. They would love to live vicariously through you. Dad would have loved to do half of what you plan to do, so go live for them.

Just do it.

Love, River.

This was written in response to @galenkp's Weekend Engagement challenge, to the prompt 'Write a Letter to Yourself'. I wasn't sure what I was going to write until I started, and then I realised that I am a little nervous about taking this year to go travelling. There's so much involved - renting out the house, making sure we have enough money, where to go, family, and so on. But even writing this letter helped set my head straight a little - all those irrational niggles that wear away at you. I've never let them get in the way of adventure before, and I'm not about to start now. Also, Hivers, who lives along the Danube? Thinking of doing that cycle ride next September. I'd love to drop in and see some of my Europeon Hive friends if I can, so drop me a message in the comments if you don't mind me calling past or maybe even parking our van in your driveway for the evening!

With Love,

Are you on HIVE yet? Earn for writing! Referral link for FREE account here