If someone had asked me at the beginning of the year how I thought 2025 would go, I probably would have shrugged and said, "I just want to survive it". As the year wrap up though, I see now that it was not such a bad year after all. Even though I had a few days that were rough, a few days that were really 'up and down', and several days with tears, I found many opportunities for growth and self-discovery through them this year.
Let me start with what annoyed me the most. Friendship. Or I should say what I thought was friendship.
2024 was when I began feeling left out in the whole "friendship thing". I used to always have nothing to add whenever I hear someone talk about their friends, the fun things they do or have done, how they miss them, and how they can't wait to go back home to them. Back then I did not really care much about having friends. I was content being on my way, but for some reason, hearing others talk this way, I began to feel something.
So, I decided to try. I made a few friends. Just a few. Initially, being able to chat, share a laugh and share experience with a friend was a great feeling, but 2025 has given me its own kind of epiphany. I found out that only a few out of the few were actually my friends. The rest were just pretending. Finding out that many out of the people in your life do not have your best interest in mind can be really difficult and painful. It does not even have to be that betrayal was involved or dramatic fights, even small things like forced smiles, the competition you did not sign up for but would have to deal with, the change in their behaviour when other people are around, or how quiet it gets when support is needed.
I think that's what annoyed me the most this year. The pretense. I won't even lie, it did hurt for a while but I learned to see it differently. Not everyone is meant to stay and it is much better to know the truth on time than to keep holding on to something fake.
Now to the best part. The things that made me happy this year.
A lot did, honestly.
I've accomplished and achieved way more than I thought I would, and I've been calmer and more in control of myself this year.
In the first four months of this year, I reached the point of being so burned out and tired that I literally found myself wishing for the year to just be over with. The weight of responsibilities and expectations and the days themselves were so heavy. I kept thinking to myself that things would improve for me next year. Interestingly enough, things started to change. And it wasn't because the year changed but because I did. I started handling things differently. I started noticing progress, no matter how small and that alone gave me a sense of peace.
My happiest this year was not just one major event, but rather a series of positive but small things that came together, like completing my defense successfully at school along with finding peace, reaching my personal goals, eliminating toxic behaviours and relationships, and being able to let go of certain things.
While I am not the same as I was at the start of 2025, it is something that I am thankful for, more because I feel like this year showed me who I really am as a person, what I really want in life, what I don't and who deserves to be in my life. Things like fake friendships really made me angry this year, but it also gave me something to learn from. Things that did not work out gave an opportunity for something else better than what was there, while disappointments made me to find ways to grow better.
Thanks for reading...
Image is mine
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We have to change in order to see changes on the outside, and as you said, changes, no matter how small they may seem, always have an impact and, when added together, make a big difference.
Yes, you're right. Thanks for stopping by 😊