Between Love and Hate

There is a woman in my life. I love her… And it is not such a simple love, it is a love that burns inside me, sometimes a love that brings me down completely. There are kilometers between us, but she travels 1000 km just to be able to come to me. The fact that she covers so much distance only to see me actually shows how big her love is. When I see her, all the tiredness inside me disappears, my world suddenly becomes beautiful.
But I have to confess… Sometimes I love her so much that, at the same time, I also hate her. When she makes me angry, I feel like tearing her apart from inside. Even a small word, a wrong attitude touches my heart. If someone else did the same thing maybe I wouldn’t care at all, but when it comes from her, it suddenly grows inside me. In those moments, love and hate mix with each other. I realized this: actually this anger is also born from love. Because the one who affects me the most, hurts me the most, makes me the happiest, is always her. Because of her I laugh, and I shed tears too. Sometimes such moments come that I say to myself “enough already.” But then, when I look into her eyes, all my anger melts and goes away. I guess love is exactly this. To love someone very much and at the same time to feel so intensely that sometimes you even hate. But in the end, always love outweighing. She drives my heart crazy, but still she is the one who fills my heart the most. I cannot imagine a life without her. Because for me love is not only smiling, happiness; sometimes it is also quarrel, anger, resentment. But if at the end of all these we return to each other again, then this becomes real love.
My story is a bit full of contradictions. I love her madly, sometimes I am hurt so much that I hate. But at the end of the day I know that this woman is indispensable for me. And maybe what we call love is lived exactly inside these ups and downs.