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“Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.”
― Oscar Wilde
I studied a subject called Economics for four years in secondary school. It taught me lots of theory but nothing practical about money management. That stuff I think we learn from our parents … by osmosis. I know I did. I saw all my parents' mistakes and then turned around and made the same ones myself.
My parents spent every penny they ever got, mostly on drink. They believed in neither thrift nor saving and ended their lives with only the shirt on their back. I don't drink but I'm not thrifty either. I don't have children, but if I did, I'd give them a fine grounding in financial matters by withholding at least half of their pocket money, just to inure them to the pain of government thievery, you understand.
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I had my first lesson in matters of finance when I was about four. My brother and I were saving for a magnificent Easter egg we’d seen in a local shop, in a wicker basket it was with yellow ribbons and bows. In a little piggy bank, we stashed every penny we could scavenge or earn doing messages for the local aul wans. And then one day the piggy bank was empty. The contents stolen, misappropriated, taken by one parent or other They were entitled to it, my father said. Lesson learned.
I’ve never been a saver. I tend to be flaithiúlaigh (read foolish) with money. Cast your bread upon the waters an’ all that. This is certainly not what endears me to everyone though. Well almost everyone, just not my brother-in-law. But that shyster apart, I am universally admired and appreciated. I like to think that it’s my warmheartedness and joviality that render me so endearing to one and all, but I suspect that my renowned skill in impersonating a doormat does me no harm at all in the endearment stakes.
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Posted in response to @galenkp's Weekend Experiences prompt asking 'Do you feel feel giving children a grounding in financial matters is the parents' or a schools' responsibility and why? If you do it for your children how have you done so?
What makes you special to others, endears you to them?'
I don't have kids so it's not much of an issue for me however I feel it's a big issue generally in a world so intent on spending, much of it on credit.
Parents with no financial grounding of their own are passing on bad habits to their kids and it'll not go so well.
I learned a lot from my parents who didn't have much money so had to do things carefully and I can recall many (overheard) conversations about how they will feed us from a young age. That taught me a lot, and I have been fortunate to have self-educated (some through abject failure) to be where I am now I guess. I've made some errors, had credit debt and all, but learned how to save, invest and be lavish or frugal when needed. Now...no debt and I never buy on credit. The biggest and most important thing I gained was a need over want ethos and the practice of making things last, caring for the things I have and respecting the effort required to make the money I have, so thinking about where it goes.
That all started when I was a kid. Rarely having anything bought new and knowing what I had may not be replaced if I broke it. I also learned to find happiness in experiences not things and the ability to enjoy life without needing to support it with fancy, expensive or many things at all. I work hard for what I have, and have a lot of nice things, but that need over want ethos is (almost) always adhered to.
So, yep I think parents play a pivotal role in financial grounding with their kids and bad examples will perpetuate bad actions.
Sorry, long-ass fucken reply, I tried to be concise.
Thank goodness you tried to be concise!:)
I'm much the same. I don't have debt or buy on credit and I don't put much store in acquiring stuff
I have very little in the way of possessions and yet have everything I need.
Experiences are better than stuff.
I can't argue with that!
Your warmheartedness and joviality is almost certainly one of your most attractive personal traits and those who do not cave in to it are flaithiúlaigh.
Becca 🌷
Ah Becca, you're a sweetie!
I try to be. 🙃
Becca 🌷
Oof - your parents stole your kitty? That's harsh as.
I am rubbish with finance. My son's grand plan is 'dont spend money' - he does it well. Can't believe his lack of desire for stuff. I did give him a few lectures as a little tacker about how money is the root of all evil and watch how advertising, society etc manipulates the fuck out of us. Maybe that was enough!
Now that's what I call excellent parenting!:)
My own folks were great. Taught us to be self reliant - we never expected money from them .. but if Dad got a bonus, he'd give us money for clothes. We always appreciated it!
I agree it's the parents' responsibility to teach their children how to manage money, and it usually happens by example. My parents were in their 20s during the Great Depression, so they were experts on thrift. Reduce, reuse, and recycle were their way of life! They lived on a small income for many years. The company my dad worked for nearly went under when I was about four, so my mom went back to nursing after many years of being a stay-at-home mother. Eventually, I was given a small allowance and taught to save 10%, give 10% to charity, and have the rest to use as I wanted. This was a valuable lesson. I tried to pass this on to my children, but one of them turned out to be a chronic spender. She rarely saves money for future needs; she just spends what she has, and then suffers later. I don't know if she will ever catch on.
It's an old fashioned view I know but I don't think a little hardship does us any harm. I'm not particularly thrifty but I don't have many wants or needs. One of my siblings on the other hand is just like your daughter , a hopeless spendthrift.
It seems that early lesson shaped your generous approach to life @deirdyweirdy, even if some, like your brother-in-law, see it as foolish. While your giving nature might make you feel like a doormat at times, it's clear your warmth and humor are what truly make you appreciated. That openness, despite the risks, says a lot about your character, and I admire it! 😊💕
It's really rather sad when you skip a week blogging. As soon as I see you've blogged, I rush over for a treat. As expected, I am not disappointed.
I think we all have a story about money, money of one sort or another. We have to. Food, shelter, clothes, medicine--we do not yet live in a Utopia so these must be acquired somehow, with some kind of tender.
Here's my story (won't surprise you). My mother may have been the most frugal person I ever met. Frugal by necessity. If we ran out of food, I had to walk down about a mile and ask my aunt, geographically the nearest relative, if we could 'borrow' a half a box of spaghetti. There were no stores. We lived way out, far from any commerce. So, other than chewing on dirt, my aunt was the resource. And she was bitter. She would make us wait on the step, shut the door in our face and then return with some portion of a box of pasta. Then the long walk home. Nothing to feed the dogs of course. They had to fend for themselves, somehow. There were no leftovers. My aunt was my father's sister and he was a tyrant. I'm sure she didn't dare say no, or she would have. No one wanted to cross my father. Though, how would he ever hear about it, since he never came home? Still, fear ruled her behavior enough to spare a bit of spaghetti.
So...all my sibling are frugal. It is part of our essential fiber. We know poverty and never want to be there again. Perversely, I have no sense of money. It goes through my fingers like water. But I don't crave anything. I don't spend it deliberately. It just doesn't stick to my fingers.
See, another long story. Quite a question @galenkp gave this week.
As for stealing a piggy bank. Why am I not surprised????
I do feel guilty when I don't post at least once a week especially when Mr. G works so tirelessly reading and commenting but sometimes at the witching hour when the page in front of me is full only with drivel, I delete and retire. If I have one fear, it's that I'll bore.
That's quite some spaghetti story and I certainly can't top it:) I don't recall ever being short of food. There was always bread and sugar.
This I could have written myself. I've made so much money over the years but have managed to keep hold of very little of it. It's not that I ever buy anything but it still disappears like dew at sunrise. I do have 1.5 spendthrift siblings though along with an inability to use the word no.
😅
Never happen
You're an angel!
Funny, as always!
I like to think I'm pretty good with money. I have two guiding principles - don't trust anyone else to make decisions about it, and do not borrow it. That said, I'm getting pretty low on fiat! Hopefully, I won't be needing it much longer.
Curiously, my quality that made me reviled in my last home has made me lovable here - my big mouth about the covid con and my notions of what our government is up to now.
I handed a friend $20 bill recently to pay him back for something, and he actually said he hadn't held any cash in a very long time. He has since sold me a sculpture of his. I'm thinking of sending him a gold piece as payment.
I'm getting a bit low on Fiat myself but somehow the universe always provides:)
I was in Dublin at the weekend and went into a coffee shop to be told they don't take cash! I never thought I'd see the day! I don't even carry a card with me so I had to go elsewhere.
A lot of places do that here. Large sports arenas are 100% cash free. Small coffee shops often don't take cash. I raise a small stink in those, showing them the words "legal tender" on the bills and explaining that means they cannot, by law, refuse to take them. It never gets me anywhere though, and I have to leave. There's the big mouth of mine that is appreciated by red necks and hillbillies, not so much by lefties.
This was a little independent cafe but staffed by furriners so I didn't bother saying anything.
You think local folk would have listened?
No, but they at least wouldn't look at me as if I was speaking a foreign language!:)
Hold up I just went to verify what I just said.
As I read this, as soon as they hand you the product, they have to accept your cash.
Seems so, but here as I understand it, they're not obliged to accept cash at all. There's legislation before parliament at the moment to introduce a right to pay with cash for certain goods and services.
ah it's faaaaaaaaaaahn. this money nonsense has long ceased to have any real meaning at all.
we may yet find out how easily we can thrive once the stream isn't constantly sucked dry. it's incredible we are still alive despite all the coercion and extortion don't ya think?
And thrive we surely would if the fruits of our labour were not misappropriated. I firmly believe that in the absence of government we'd all look after each other. People's generosity never ceases to amaze me. I'm on a local off-grid Telegram group and the way people step up to give their time and expertise to strangers, gladdens the heart. Only last week a plumber and a carpenter in the group went to the aid of an elderly lady in dire need of a back boiler to heat her radiators. She's now snug as a bug. The group has 12,000 members so these are not people who know each other. And have you seen the sort of donations people give on Go Fund Me and the like? How is it that so many believe that government is necessary and that the alternative is chaos?
mmmmhmmm inspiring to read that. i should check out if that exists here as well. guess anybody's got something to offer to others.
food sharing used to be a thing also
ye, government is falling out of fashion quickly ahahhaha
I used to trade with my beautiful neighbour, eggs for baked goods. Sadly she took the needlecraft and died suddenly.
To be successful in today's time, one has to learn how to use money because without money there is no respect anywhere and we cannot live a good life.
Indeed! Thanks for your comment.
🙂
Sometimes life is hard!:)
Most welcome.
You're right meme
No, my left meme!:)
Money really matters and is quite so important actually
Yes, we do learn certain habits from our parents; especially when it comes to finances because that's all we knew growing up. Changing those habits isn't easy. My parents were the complete opposite. We were classified as country folks and "poor" before we moved to the city and became immersed in "poorer" circumstances. With seven children, thrifty was my parents' middle names.
So I learned thrifty. That meant when I become financially independent, the desire never to be poor again if it was within my power was strong. I've taught my daughters the same.
Thanks for sharing your story.
I agree. I've been poor and I didn't like it much, but it's a great incentive to work your ass off so you're never poor again!