Taking The Initiative: Something Complicated | WE #160 [EN]

Before I begin, I must say that I couldn't stop laughing when reading this week's topics. They are sure to bring some funny stories to the community. If you're new, you may be intrigued by this trend, but don't be overwhelmed, just join in and enjoy it. Every Friday, you'll find funny stories and equally amusing topics that will allow you to develop your creative process, and I say this from my personal experience. As for me, this week I will be responding to:

I don't know where you're reading this from, but at least in my country and I think in most of the Latam region, there's a taboo that goes back to ancient times. My grandmother says her grandparents already thought that way, so you can imagine how long ago it was: "The man should always invite the girl." In my opinion, nothing in life should be so rigid. I don't want to get into ideologies or beliefs, so let's continue.

This topic has always been difficult for me because I have two problems:

1- When it comes to seduction and love-related topics, I consider myself a shy person, even though I don't think I am in my daily life. It's just one of those things. I've come to realize that seduction takes you out of your comfort zone, and sometimes I don't like that very much. I still have to figure that out, maybe we can talk more about this in another post.

2- I never know if someone is being kind to me or flirting with me. To avoid confusion, I always take it as the former. This has led to some women reproaching me after a few years for not reciprocating their interest, and I can't blame them. They're usually right. But this attitude has saved me from many misunderstandings, and that's worth a lot to me 😁.

Despite the above and thinking back (not that there's much to remember😅), I've always been the one to ask a girl out, so in one sentence, you can conclude that I've never received an invitation to go out. However, I'm not the most suitable person to draw a conclusion. On the other hand, despite considering myself shy, I like to take the initiative in this regard. Although the process for this has often taken me longer than I would have liked.

Over time, I've come to the conclusion that taking the initiative makes me feel more comfortable and confident. I don't know if you feel this way, but when I invite someone, I tend to do it to a place where I feel safe or at least have some control over the situation. No, I'm not controlling, but since I'm not used to this, I think feeling comfortable is something I need. I prefer to leave the adventure for later encounters. Then comes the reality check, and it almost never goes as planned, but that's part of the adventure too, right? Having to improvise has put me in a bind, but it's also fun, don't you think?

Another thing that helps me take the initiative, and what I prefer, is to treat the first date more like a friendly outing than an actual date. It may sound silly, but a date is a date. At least for me, in the past, this has relieved a lot of pressure and allowed me to have good experiences. This applies whether I already know the person or if I'm just getting to know them.

Of course, reading this, you can conclude that I'm not fond of blind dates, and I don't think I ever will be. Thanks to all the things I've mentioned above and a little bit of luck, I have a wonderful partner and companion by my side.

From my personal experience, I can't generalize. I have friends whose partners were the ones who took the initiative, but this is rare, very rare. Although times are changing, and at least the younger generations, girls are taking the initiative (I'm not a statistician, but I have a younger sister). In my opinion, this benefits both parties. The man can feel less pressure and of course, avoid the fear of rejection, and the woman gains confidence and breaks the taboo we grew up with.

So, where are you reading this from? Does the same tendency exist in your country? Do you think this tendency should change? Would you prefer it to stay the same? Have you ever been nervous on a first date? What do you do to avoid nerves? What works for you? Feel free to respond in the comments, and if you want to add anything, I'll be waiting there. It's always a pleasure to respond to comments.