‘Red One’ Review: Dwayne Johnson’s Christmas Franchise Nonstarter Is a Blockbuster-Sized Lump of Coal
Amazon MGM's $250-million bid at a Marvel-level Christmas franchise is a charmless, level-four naughty-lister that will make you wish Christmas
It’s never a harbinger of good tidings when the critics’ embargo for your $250-million Christmas franchise launcher is 9 p.m. PT on Election Day. But here we are.
#entertainment #redone #amazon #mgm #marvel #christmas #therock
Amazon MGM Studios’ bid at a Marvel-level action-comedy spectacle, the ho-ho-horrible “Red One” is a blockbuster-sized cinematic lump of coal, driven as if by narcotized reindeer on a sleigh of hideous CGI and charmless stars with only dancing dollar-shaped sugar plums on the mind. Directed by “Jumanji” reboot filmmaker Jake Kasdan and written by longtime “Fast & Furious” scribe Chris Morgan, here is a level-four naughty-lister that will make you wish Christmas were canceled altogether, a cynical, depressing holiday adventure about the abduction of a swoled-up Santa Claus (J.K. Simmons, at least seemingly amused to be in a red and white-fur-trimmed two-piece) from the North Pole.
We know that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, who plays St. Nick’s personal security detail, can open any movie. “Red One” should expect to earn a decent bag of cash in theaters, all a bait-and-switch to lure Prime Video subscribers looking to pass the listless Christmas hours from unboxing presents to dinnertime with passive streaming viewing. Will all that a franchise make? To all a good night who find enough enjoyment to help propel this film to a sequel or more.