I think you call that negative energy. It's very common talk. But on the other hand maybe the person is depressed, sometimes we can show them sensitivity but we are too busy and tired with our own struggles for that!!
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Unfortunately, life is unfair. Everyone is about their life and struggles. So we owe it to ourselves to be the best we can and if we need help we seek it.
Easier said than done.
That's the only practical thing to do... I speak from experience too. This becomes a loop on how meserable one is, playing victim. However, as you said, we have to take charge of our lives & help ourselves. Doing oneself a favour I guess.