How can my family possibly be proud knowing that this is what they raised? All their intensive efforts to create a functional human being have been reduced to this total waste. And the sad thing is that they might even blame themselves to any degree when the truth is that it's all me. While I seek to improve, I hope that my failures as a human being, as a son, and as a man will not reflect on them.
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Let those who read this laugh, not pity me, because I deserve no pity. I let myself out of my own control, like a child who does not know any better. Even in my normal state, I do not behave like a man. This is not to be pitied or sympathized or empathized. I do not deserve that. I deserve the pain of consequences until I change my ways. A LOT of pain.