My Elder sister has been married for 8 years and counting. We were taking earlier today and our conversation went to her and her husband. They recently went through a 'rough patch' but have managed to sort things out as always. Being what people may refer to as conservatives, my sister and indeed my family believes that once married, every conflict can be ironed out. The only red flags are Infidelity and violence.
Moving on, our conversation bordered on how her relationship with her husband has evolved over the years. From being wildly in love with her College sweetheart to marrying him and now raising three kids with him. The evolution of course follows the 'normal' progression that many married couple go through. I asked out of curiosity what would be the difference in their marriage if she saw the future and her response was quite revealing.
She's of the opinion that we run too many overestimations when it comes to marriage from choosing who to settle with all the way to the expected outcomes. It doesn't mean that one shouldn't be choosy or desirous, but sometimes we tend to cross the thin line from suitable to fantasy. No relationship is ever perfect, even as she reminded me of some of our own conflicts as siblings.
What matters is the conviction and a desire to see things work. It takes many of us years to get to this same conclusion as we probably would've at the first instance. Delay doesn’t guarantee better results, and sometimes time spent on getting more information is simply time wasted.