I usually queried people's response of i understand how you feel, the question now is do they? Or its just an expression to make us you feel better, telling me you know how i feel, i should ask you were is your similar scare?...if there's none then i doubt that the feeling is mutual....
We are just use to the i'm fine cliches in life to avoid word wondering around especially when who you are conversing with does not really hold that capacity to help out wether financially or otherwise.....
Stay strong brother
Yeah, they're just cliche replies and nothing too deep. They probably don't understand and they won't. They just say it anyways, just to come off as being courteous.
However I won't blame, we mostly aew guilty of this. We would rather ask people how they are than truly caring for how they truly are..