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I'm taking a dump.

You must be a devil with the ladies.

They always run away...

Like, into your arms?
Or like right into bed?

No like, I say, "Hey! Get in the van!" ... off they go.

Maybe my pickup lines need work.

gets in the van

Well okay but if you get hair on anything, you're cleaning it up.
And no clawing the seats!

hey miss money pussy wanna jump on my jetpack?

That's a good one. I'll try it out this weekend at Bingo.