As we grew up, our parents have misunderstood some words which affected some of us as we grow.
Especially in Nigeria, they mistook self -love for selfishness. Imagine my neighbor beating up her child because they they placed some goodies for kids in their church and ask the kids to pick one after the other and when it got to her son's turn ,he picked the biggest goodies which other kids that has picked before him did not pick. She is now complaining that her son is a very greedy person and selfish and thar she looked embarrassed ,just like he has been suffering of it, and doesn't get to eat it.
Now, training that kid that way, what will he become to be;That kid is not selfishness. He loves himself ,he knows what he needs, his worth,,he chooses the right thing for him, since he didn't collect it from someone else, how would she call that selfishness?,That is selflove.
"Selfishness" is taking from someone else or making use of others in order to have what you want not caring for their well-being.
While "selflove" getting what you want without taking advantage of anyone. Parents pay a very great role in their child life .