I can feel your state in this post. Nonetheless, the meaning of life is what you make it. Just the truth painted straight, we all are scared of growing old for the same reason. But then, it's inevitable; you either grow old and get to the point where you definitely need someone, or you die before that happens. None of these is a pleasant thought to fantasize about. As such I try as much to dwell on the present.
Just being naughty, Size matters so does skills