Leading Communication

Part of my onboarding process into the new job role will be going through a sales methodology course, which I will probably do at the end of Q2 or after summer in Q3. However, since I will be training before this, I am running through previous recordings from the sessions, hoping to glean what I can from them.

I am not much of a "formula" kind of person, meaning that I tend not to have a formalized process for the way I conduct myself, especially ones that have a host of acronyms that spell out the order. However, I do recognize the need for these for many people, especially now that my personal processes have been thrown into a little disarray. Perhaps this will be good for me to get a little bit of practice in as a refresher and perhaps some new simple tricks.

I think what I don't like about these types of processes is that they feel inauthentic to me, but as I was explaining to someone the other day, we aren't necessarily talking to the same people over and over, so what we have used or heard a thousand times, it is all fresh for them. Not only that, it can make them feel safe and build trust, because they get the sense that you have done all of this before.

There is a bit of a caveat here obviously, as for example, when taking those calls from sales people on the phone where they rush through a spiel so rapidly there is no chance of knowing what they are talking about, it doesn't give the sense that they are doing it for you, you are just next on their list of calls to make. It is obviously rehearsed, but not with any intention of engaging the listener.

Communication is a lot like dancing, where steps are learned explicitly or implicitly to build a style, but there is still a lot of room on the spectrum for better or worse. Finnish men for example tend to learn the steps of the dance, but fail to listen to the music or learn the nuances of leading their partner, which means that they go through their "spiel" without considering their partner, and even though things don't go smoothly, because they got all of their moves out, they are content - even though their dance partner is left unsatisfied.

When we interact well, there is a rhythm and a flow, speed adjustments, highs and lows, moments of close intimacy and giving space. There is a push and pull of it and the most effective communication engages more than the mind, it wraps the body into the mix. Even in remote sessions, you can see how body language changes in the cameras as to whether a person is engaged or not, but many people are so interested in getting their steps out, that they miss the signs. This is why there has to be stacked processes, where not only is there the "what to say" steps, but also the how to pay attention to the audience and adjust how it is said.

I used to be good at this, and even though I can notice it as it is happening, the adjustment processes takes a level of creativity that I don't seem to have, and my mind draws on blank. It is frustrating to say the least, but I am hoping that going through the courses throughout this year might give me some basic steps to fallback on, even if I believe it is the robotic way to communicate.

Essentially though, whether the processes I use are created by me or another, it is a type of programmed performance, making it robotic, with the difference being whether I am the programmer, or the programmed. But, for those who are not interested in developing this for themselves, I do recommend seeking out communication development training of some kind, whether formal or self-directed, as being able to communicate well really does go a long way in this life.

Looking back, one of the things I should have focused more on is my communication skills across more domains, especially when it comes to listening. It is not that I was bad at it, but I could have been far better at picking up the slight changes in people's tones or, picking out particular indicative words. These days, I can barely keep up with understanding them, let alone analyzing all of the components on the fly and building an effective response - at least that is how I feel.

Even in writing it is hard to get the words right and I find commenting on Hive far more challenging than it was earlier, as the processes that were connecting brain to fingertips seem to be largely broken, or missing pieces that break the chain of my communication.

While this particular training isn't going to be the thing that realigns my processes, perhaps it will be motivating enough through result that I will self-learn again. Motivation is low in this area currently, which I partly put down to so many other things going on simultaneously, but I think I am also just not very motivated in general at the moment. At least when it comes to some things.

Just like dancing, it is hard to do when not "feeling it".

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]